


Summer Break

by missema



Series: Kirkwall Tech [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol, Alphabet Meme, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthday, Consequences, Dating, Disappointment, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Interns & Internships, Kirkwall (Dragon Age), Kirkwall Tech, Light Angst, Modern Kirkwall (Dragon Age), New Adult, Summer, Weddings, new relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 25,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7220596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This summer is the last one before graduation, and the first Melissa Hawke and Sebastian Vael have spent together. Both in Kirkwall, working and navigating their new relationship, these are the short tales of long days and stolen kisses.</p><p>Takes place after Swelter</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A is for (Almost an) Apartment

Sebastian was upfront about the fact that he liked Melissa's apartment better than his own rooms, the sole drawback being that it was a stiflingly hot Kirkwall summer and she didn't have air conditioning. She and Isabela had an old window unit that only fit into the living room window of their ground-floor L-shaped apartment, but it only kept the one room cool. To sleep comfortably, he and Melissa decamped to his frat house room across campus.

That was why at half past five am, they were laying in a heap on the floor of his room in a heap when his bed frame collapsed. One of the other brothers rushed up the stairs, then politely knocked on the door, just in case. 

"We're all right," Sebastian grumbled, levering himself off the floor to open the door. When it swung open to reveal a very disheveled brother with a sheepish grin, he widened the gap so he could see the ruined bedframe. One side was completely misaligned, the pieces warped from years of use. 

"We were sleeping, and the damn thing collapsed," Sebastian explained. Melissa made her way to the bathroom, the both of them now wide awake after falling out of bed. He didn't stop her, not even to ask how she was doing. It was too early for such things, and she'd let him know if she needed him.

"Holy shit! The frame's fucked, Choir Boy. That side's completely fallen in, and the legs are broken. Looks like the midbeam is cracked too." 

"Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. It didn't just slip out this time, it gave way completely," Sebastian said, his voice still rough with sleep and irritable about the turn of events.

"Wasn't this Rollo's bed before? It was old when he had it. Probably just wore out."

"Aye," Sebastian had inherited the bed, like most of his furniture. He hadn't thought much about the quality.

He was bruised from landing on the floor, and then Melissa had half-slid on top of him. She sort of kept herself from falling as he had, but then had trouble getting up. It was an awkward twist of limbs to get untangled. He heard the shower running and knew that there was no chance of going back to bed, even if he pulled the mattress onto the floor.

Later that morning they went out to breakfast to waste time, then onto the local emporium of flat packed, cheap furniture. Luckily, it was Saturday, so their earliness at least allowed them to beat the crowds. Sebastian had no other furniture in his rooms besides the bed, desk, a bookshelf and a desk chair. In his old room, that was all he could fit, but in the larger space, it seemed too sparse, especially if she was going to spend time there regularly.

"I don't know what to get," he admitted to Melissa over something that might have been a third or fourth cup of coffee.

"Leave that to me," she said, but then bit her lip before asking, "you like my apartment, don't you?"

"Yes, of course. It's very comfortable."

She beamed at him.

It was like one of those home makeover shows -- frat house edition. They threw out the old bed, set down the new rugs and began to build. Sebastian had a bed frame and all the pieces to put together, Melissa worked on replacing the cabinet knobs in the bathroom, then put together an end table. It took both of them to assemble the freestanding closet, but he was impressed by it once it was up. It solved the problem of having the one closet in the room taken up by a bar he neither wanted nor could remove. The armchair, table lamp and framed photos for the walls were easy to take care of, and the tv stand required only a little more effort. He had to get a tv now, but Sebastian was looking forward to not needing to sit in his desk chair to actually see movies.

In the end, it looked like an apartment -- not quite as nice as the one Melissa shared with Isabela -- but a very nice version of it that felt like him. She'd said that he needn't take the furniture when he leave the house, but Sebastian thought he might want some of it. It looked like him, like a comfortable place he'd created with Melissa.

"I've the nicest room in the house now, I'm sure," he commented to her.

"As you should. You still need curtains," she said, wiping her brow with a hand. He looked, sorry that he hadn't realized earlier what he took for a curtain hanging over one window was, in fact a towel. The other had serviceable, if a little dirty set of old blinds.

"We'll get them online. I can't stomach another trip to that store today," Sebastian said, exhausted. He pulled Melissa to him and gave her a hug.

Even with the air on, they were sweating and tired from their interrupted night of sleep. They celebrated by taking a nap on the new, far more stable bed that resided in a different corner of the room. While the bed problem was solved, Sebastian was truly enjoying the transformation of his room from mere quarters into what he'd want in an apartment.


	2. B is for Break Room

Melissa hadn't been sure what to expect when she'd started an internship at an insurance company, but to say she liked it was an understatement of the most supreme kind. All her life, she'd love numbers, had been good at math. Being an actuary, while it may have sounded boring to crunch numbers and learn to assess risk to anyone else -- was a dream come true for her. The job was great, but there was more to going to work than just doing the job.

Overall, the people weren't bad. But there was someone that kept eating her lunch whenever she stored it in the fridge in the break room. The first day they'd held a welcome luncheon, and she hadn't need to bring a lunch, but on the second and third days, hers vanished from the break room. On the fourth morning she was fed up, and tired of going out to purchase a lunch she'd already made. She told Julie, the woman that was training her. Julie was sensible, straightforward and ate a banana every day at lunch every day, taking the time to pontificate on their many health benefits.

Julie shook her iron gray curls in a disgusted way as Melissa described what was happening with her modest lunches. "Come with me," Julie said when she finished.

"This has been a problem in the past, and I think I know what's going on, but I can't be sure."

There was in fact, a camera in the break room. When they asked security, the woman at the monitor rolled her eyes, but queued up and replayed the last two days just before noon for them. 

"Ha, see, I knew it!" Julie said. "It's always the sales department. They aren't even in the office most of the time, but they're all back this week because of the interns and summer staff training," Julie said.

"Well, now that we know, what do we do?" Melissa asked.

"Leave it to me," Julie told her, smiling just a little.

She never knew exactly what Julie said or did, but after that, there was no more thievery in the break room. Melissa was able to enjoy her lunches instead of going out to buy them. Julie also insisted that she be reimbursed for the lunches she was forced to purchase. Julie had done everything she'd needed, and Melissa thought she might have just found the perfect mentor.


	3. C is for Chantry

Melissa met him after work at the Chantry. He'd gone there to wait out the hour after the end of his shift and the conclusion of her day. Plus, it was always cool inside the Chantry, nice and dark, and he needed that after a day outside. Sebastian felt a headache forming from being out in the sun all day, and the dark, coolness of the Chantry brought relief.

After his summer in the Chantry, he liked spending time there. He found comfort among the candles and incense, in the quietness her found within himself there. It was no hardship to spend an hour listening to the Chant, sitting at the foot of the Maker. Most of the major decisions that had changed his life for the better had been made here, when he was so lost and directionless. For the first time he sat there feeling like a man grown in truth, comfortable in his own skin. It was a good thing too, because it had taken him years to get to that state of mind, and he still hadn't done it quickly enough for the liking of his family. 

His twenty-fifth birthday was rapidly approaching, and he hadn't yet thought of what he might want to do. Melissa knew how old he was, she herself was a little older than the average student since she'd spent so much time working and saving money before she could go to school. But this felt like a milestone that he was meant to spend alone, contemplating as he had during his time here at the Chantry. Once there'd been a time when he hadn't thought to live so long, and now he was looking forward. That in itself was an achievement worthy of celebration.

Melissa came to sit next to him on the pew silently, but he knew it was her for all that she didn't speak. He could smell her perfume, a handcrafted gift from her sister, a blend only Bethany knew. He had a pretty good nose, but couldn't identify all the notes in the scent. There was bergamot and citrus within, teasing him with its familiar, inviting scent. She put a hand on his shoulder, but demanded none of his attention. He finished his prayers and contemplations like that, with her at his side.

"If you'd like to pray, I can wait," he said, his quiet voice almost fading into the sounds of Chantry business going on around them.

Melissa shook her head. "I'm not sure that I can do it honestly, so I stopped." She turned away from him, looking off into the distance. "That must sound horrible to you, with all the time you spend here."

"Faith is a personal thing. If you ever wish to talk about it, I'd listen."

She shook her head again, not really looking at him. He slid his hand into hers, lacing his fingers with hers. They didn't speak as they sat. He wondered why there was some ingrained respect and no real conviction left in her. So many things about her past were a mystery to him still. Had it been so difficult that it robbed her of her faith? Sebastian rubbed her knuckles with a the calloused tip of his thumb while he sat, caught up in his wandering thoughts.

Sebastian once had a woman come to this Chantry, to find him in Kirkwall and beg him to spend a night with her. She might have even offered to sneak him home, but he couldn't rightly remember. They'd dallied a few times in Starkhaven, but he hadn't guessed the depth of her infatuation with him. When he'd been exiled, she'd come here to rescue him, to save him from such a dreary fate. She'd interrupted his prayers, tried to seduce him with inappropriate soft touches and glimpses down her dress. Right then, he'd decided if anyone ever tried anything within the walls of the Chantry again, he would end things right there. The noblewoman went home to her husband, disappointed. In contrast, Melissa hadn't even interrupted him with a greeting.

If there ever was a sign of things being right where he needed them to be, this was it. They should spend his birthday together. He stood up and they left the dark confines of the building hand in hand. The sunlight covered his skin, warming him, and he was glad he had nothing left to do for the day besides be with Melissa.

"So what should we do for my birthday?" he asked her, getting a shy smile in return.

"I don't know yet. We'll think of something," she said, finally meeting his eyes.


	4. D is for Docks

Isabela walked along the docks and Melissa tried to keep up with her. She was practiced in weaving in and out of crowds, but less sure of where they were going. She wanted to get Sebastian a birthday gift, but had come up with nothing so far. Even with her extra money this summer she struggled to find a suitable gift. Sebastian felt like he was significant, like she could love him, but they hadn't actually been together for that long.

When she'd mentioned her problem to Isabela, her friend asked a few questions, texted someone and then told Hawke to come on. They'd been walking under the sun for long enough for Melissa to feel the heat under her clothes, and she was far from comfortable.

"What are we going here for again?" Melissa asked, but her voice was lost in the crowd. Isabela walked on ahead as if she hadn't heard her. 

They finally stopped at the dirty door to a dingy warehouse. Isabela rang a bell that Melissa hadn't seen and then waited, leaning up against the building.

"What are we here for?" Melissa asked, trying to keep the annoyance from the heat and crowds from making her sound as cranky as she felt.

"You want a gift for your boy, right? Something memorable, not too expensive or over the top, so that's why we're here."

Melissa was confused, but before she could ask anything more, the door opened. Behind it was a stunning woman, the kind that would look out of place anywhere but in the most refined of settings. She could be on a shoot for a magazine and unless she was arranged over a chaise with fine silk draped over her, her surroundings wouldn't be worthy of her. Her fashionably messy black hair was in a pixie cut, the better to show off her fine features and satiny skin. The impossibly lovely woman looked from her to Isabela and smiled.

"Isabela, you brought a guest!" She sounded delighted at the prospect, her accent a musical mix of sounds.

"This is Hawke. She needs a nice boat ride for her and her man. For a birthday," Isabela said. Melissa's face split into a grin that she hoped didn't give away how much of a surprise the present was to her as well. 

"We can do that. Come in so we may talk more comfortably. Andraste's Grace, it's gotten even more humid out," she said.

The gorgeous woman waved them inside with a handful of Rivani rings that reminded her of Isabela. She gave Hawke a wide smile as she walked in, and there was something comforting in it. After that they came in it was all details, arranging the dates and times and whether or not food was to be served. Isabela did most of the talking but looked to her to confirm details. Melissa had the sense that they didn't offer private boat rides to just anyone, but didn't question it. Isabela was doing her a favor, and it was only after they were back on the crowded, stinking docks that Hawke realized the beautiful woman had never mentioned a price.


	5. E is for Eggplant

He was going to make her lasagna for dinner, he told himself. She loved eggplant lasagna when they'd gone out, and he was a decent cook, surely could manage that. Sebastian stood in the kitchen of the house, wondering why he hadn't thought this through better before he'd started. The food was all here, just waiting to be assembled. He couldn't do it as well as she did, but he wasn't bad at following direction. That's all cooking really was in his experience, following directions.

Melissa had made it for him before, tender, perfectly uniform slices of eggplant layered between homemade sauce. He'd smelled the roasting tomatoes as soon as he'd come in. Isabela yelled about the heat in the apartment from using the oven, but Melissa offered to save her a slice to quiet her complaints. He remembered that night fondly, with wine and laughter between the two of them. It had been one of her rare nights off before the summer started, when he'd been so desperate to see her during those last weeks of class.

Now he stood in sparse area that somehow qualified as a kitchen for him and his brothers. Sebastian poked around in the cabinets, cursing himself for not making a list of pots and pans to buy beforehand. The one spatula he found was a disgusting, rusty piece of equipment that he dropped into the garbage. There was a cookie sheet and a saucepan with an area about the width of his hand. The toaster on the counter and the microwave were the only pieces of equipment that saw much use.

"Does anyone have any knives?" Sebastian asked into the living room, where the remaining summer boarders sat watching tv. He amended the question as heads turned toward him. "For cooking."

There were a few shrugs, and lots of head shaking. Sebastian sighed, then checked his watch. There wasn't time to go back to the store, not if he wanted to get this done before Melissa showed up.

So he decided to swallow his pride, and picked up his phone. He went to his room, the lone bag of groceries taken from the common kitchen and put into his mini-fridge.

"Hi," she said, picking up the phone on the second ring. Melissa's voice was filled with warmth, and Sebastian sorely hated to disappoint her.

"So about tonight," he began, thinking quickly, "I thought I'd make lasagna, but we haven't the equipment here. Do you mind bringing yours, maybe giving me a cooking lesson? I promise I'll do the dishes."

Melissa laughed heartily at that, because he always, always did the dishes without prompting. It was one of the things he learned at the Chantry -- cleanliness was a joy to the Maker.

"You've convinced me," she said, a smile in her voice. "What all do you need?"

"Everything but the food."

"Oooh boy. Okay. Well, let me finish getting dressed, and I'll get everything together. You'll have to pick me up, if I'm bringing kitchen stuff."

"Wait," Sebastian said, stopping his pacing, "you've been naked this whole time?"

" _Bye_ , Sebastian. I'll see you in twenty minutes," Melissa said, chuckling.

He was smiling as he took his phone from his ear, and dropping it on his bed. Come to think on it, he had enough time to take a shower himself and put on a fresh shirt before he went over there. For the first time since he'd ventured out to the store with a recipe pulled up on his phone for reference, Sebastian felt like the night might go well.


	6. F is for Faded

She noticed her best dress was faded as she took it from the closet. It had been a beautiful shade of bright blue, but now it wasn't quite so bright or as blue as Melissa remembered. An errant string hung from the hem, and as she pulled it loosened a few more threads to join the original. When she looked at it critically, the dress she'd once seen as a classic shape started to look just a little out of date. It was clear that this particular dress wouldn't do for what she had in mind.

They were going out to dinner for Sebastian's birthday later that week, and she needed a dress, or something to wear. Normally, Melissa would have asked her mother to help her make a replacement, but there wouldn't be time. It took Mother about a week to finish a nice dress, even when she had all the materials right there. Melissa wasn't used to spending her newfound internship money. That was mostly because she had to be so careful with what she had, but this summer had her flush with cash. A little, she reasoned, could be spent on a new dress.

Isabela wasn't around, off doing whatever was taking up her time so this summer. Melissa hadn't asked, and Isabela hadn't volunteered, and it was probably best that she find out later. So Melissa called Bethany to go shopping with her, gambling on whether she was free or not. Her sister was always good company, and it had been too long since they'd caught up.

"I could use a break from this homework," Bethany yawned into her ear when she called. "Let's meet there."

"I don't want to keep you from anything," Melissa ventured, but her sister just laughed.

"Please, I'd love to go shopping! It's nothing urgent; it's not due for a while. I just like to be a little ahead in case I can't get to it with work and everything," Bethany explained. Over the phone, Melissa smiled, because she was the same way. Luckily, she wasn't taking summer classes.

They both had to use the bus to get around, so it was easier to meet at the store. When Melissa got there, she was early. Bethany had further to come than she did, and at least one transfer. Melissa walked around, eyeing the clothes on display and making notes of what she saw that she liked. Even back in Ferelden, clothes weren't a luxury, they were just a necessity. She wore what she could afford to buy, and nothing fancier. Jeans and shoes and good Chantry dresses came from the same store as the feed for the cows. It was strange now to her to have the money to shop in specialized boutiques, where the fabric that she ran her hands over was so fine that it felt like water under her fingers.

"You might look nice in that one," Bethany said, coming up behind her, "but I've always liked you in red."

"I doubt I'll be buying a red dress today. I want something with re-wearability," Melissa told her.

She reached out to hug her sister, a quick embrace. Bethany is shorter than her, curvier, heavier, and feels like home, smells like lilac-scented shampoo and antiseptic hand soap. It ended quickly, like just reminder of home and growing up, and they turned their attention back to the task at hand.

"So what's this dress for?" Bethany asked as they flicked through a rack of sale summer dresses.

Her sister picked one from the bunch and held it to Melissa's back. Melissa was still searching through her own section of dresses, and didn't turn around, but apparently Bethany hadn't liked her choice. The dress went back and her sister began her search anew.

"It's Sebastian's birthday on Thursday. We're going out this weekend."

"Oooh. So what's the big date that's got you replacing your old dress?"

Melissa shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious about talking about her relationship at all. Before Sebastian she'd dated exactly one person seriously, and that had been drawn-out, and far too filled with drama. This relationship had never seen her crying on her Mother's lap like a small child.

"It's nothing really big, just dinner. Isabela helped me set up a boat ride later that night, so maybe something I can put a sweater over."

Bethany stopped searching the dresses, and Melissa felt her sister's scrutiny bearing down on her. The stare persisted even when she tried to ignore it. When Melissa looked up, Bethany was frowning at her from across the clothes rack. "What is it?" she finally asked, when she could no longer take it.

"It's serious with him, isn't it?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Melissa didn't want to say what she hoped, that it was, that she and Sebastian were going to make it past graduation. Just recently she'd started thinking about it, daydreaming about what it might mean for them.

"Is Mother right, is he a prince of Starkhaven?" Bethany asked in a voice that carried enough that people turned to look at them. Melissa felt her face burn, hoping the blush didn't show up. She didn't answer right away, waiting for the people staring to at least go back to pretending like they were shopping.

"Yes," she answered, after the silence stretched between them for too long and became too strained for her not to reply.

Bethany sucked in a hard breath that Melissa didn't quite understand, and then went back to her searching. "Well, I hope we finally get to meet him one of these days."

Oh, now she understood. Melissa looked over at her sister, realization dawning. Before she'd gone to Tech, Bethany had been the one that she and Carver always confided in, the one who knew all of their secrets. Now with Carver gone and Melissa making her own life away from her family for the first time, her sister must have felt left out. She and Bethany didn't even work together at Athenril's anymore, both of them moved on to better jobs -- Melissa with her internship and Bethany was busy with the clinic, and the website she helped their mother run.

Melissa held up a short, black knit dress with no sleeves. It was plain save for a keyhole in the bodice between the breasts that would make it impossible for a bra to be worn, but Melissa didn't have a problem forgoing one. Bethany nodded as she examined it.

"It's 40% off too," Bethany said, eyeing the price tag.

"Yeah, I know. I can wear it out and carry a shawl. Let me try it on and make sure. At this price, I might be able to get new shoes too."

"He's _that_ important?" Bethany asked, raising an eyebrow at Melissa.

"It's just shoes. But you'll meet him soon. I promise," Melissa told her.

She wasn't sure how to handle this kind of confrontation with her sister, so she didn't wait for an answer. Maybe this was best, for the two of them to figure out a way to talk things through without needing to be in the same house all the time, to make a real effort to talk. She didn't really know, just hoped that Bethany would understand. When she came out of the dressing room to show Bethany the dress, her smile was brighter.


	7. G is for Grate

He was standing in the middle of Kirkwall holding a sewer grate with no idea where to put it. Where had it even come from originally? It was a birthday present from his co-workers, wrapped up with a bow with his name on it. Sebastian sighed and decided just to take it back to the office. If they needed it back, he was sure to get a call about it. The day was clear and hot, the warmth making him roll up his sleeves as they worked out in the field that afternoon. The sun shone brightly down on him as he walked the few blocks back towards his office building, feeling a little ridiculous about roaming the streets with the grate in hand. 

It didn't put a damper on his day -- any day outside of the office was a welcome break -- and his colleagues had taken him to lunch to celebrate before giving him his 'gift'. Tonight, he was going out with Melissa, and Sebastian was looking forward to their date more than anything. Their internships were demanding, and he had the responsibilities of gearing up for the fall recruitment season with the house. Leadership had its rewards, but time wasn't one of them. There were so many meetings, budgets to be balanced, requests from alumni to be considered, and personal letters he had to write to either beg or thank people for their generosity. Melissa spent time with her family when she could, lending a hand with the new internet business her mother and sister were running. Time for just the two of them had become scarcer as the summer wore on.

Sebastian didn't have the best luck with birthdays. His father considered it gauche to celebrate the day for his children, and as a child they had to go out and do good works on their birthdays. As he grew older, he stopped the habit and opted for drinking instead. Resentment and alcohol never made a happy pair, and he was resolved not to let them interfere tonight. It was just going to be him and Melissa and a chance to just be together without interruption.

His phone rang just as he was dithering with the grate, debating whether or not to put it in the office or leave it outside. He set it down and took the call, pulling the ribbon from the thing before walking back up to his cubicle. It was the end of his day, but this was his birthday and he wanted to get back to the house and change his shirt before he met Melissa for dinner.

"Sebastian Vael," he said instead of hello and only just stopped himself from cursing. He answered his work phone like that, but didn't like the habit to carry over.

"Saint Seb, man I hope you aren't busy," a voice said into the phone. It was one of his brothers, which one he wasn't quite sure, but they sounded a little breathless.

"What's up?" Sebastian didn't like the sound of the voice on the other end, it was a little too close to panic, but he tried to keep his own tone even.

"Okay dude, so if you aren't too busy at work maybe you want to get back to the house. There was a small fire. I mean it really was small and no one was hurt. The fire department had to come out and everything is fine now, but the Housing Department and Dean's office are both here now and want to talk to you."

Sebastian sighed, heavy and far too weary for a day that had been going fairly well up until that phone call. "All right, I'm leaving now," he said, and didn't wait for a goodbye to hang up. He hoped that this was some kind of elaborate birthday prank, but he gut told him it wasn't. He picked up his bag, slung it over his shoulder and took the stairs to the underground parking garage. 

"Please let this not take all night," he prayed under his breath as he got in the car and drove back to campus. As he drove away from the building, he could see his birthday grate sitting next to the door he'd come in, but he didn't have any attention to spare for it.


	8. H is for Help

Julie was leaning over the top of her cubicle at work, staring down at Melissa. Her grey hair was a cascade of frizzy ringlets that fell in her face. Julie batted them back with a hand and gave Melissa a slight smile.

"Need your help," she said, but something about the way she's uttered the words filled Melissa with dread.

"I have to go soon," Melissa said, frowning as she looked at her watch. "It's Sebastian's birthday." It was the end of the day, and Sebastian was already off of work. He went in two hours before her and got out earlier, so he was probably already waiting. They'd both been happily anticipating this night, his birthday dinner out and their harbor boat ride.

"This won't take but a minute, and trust me, you want to come."

Melissa didn't know what Julie had in mind, but they were walking into the executive suite. Julie nodded at the assistant seated at the desk as they passed, but offered nothing. Finally, they stopped in front of a door that was already partially ajar, and she rapped on it twice before entering.

"Messere, this is Melissa Hawke. Hawke, this is our Vice President, Tomin de La Croix."

Reflexively, she stuck out her hand and Tomin shook it. His hands were soft and dry, like old paper, though to her the elf didn't look that old. "I've been hearing such good things about you, I asked Julie to bring you up today. We get many promising interns each year, but few that earn as much specific praise as you have. An internship could easily turn into an offer of employment," he said. Despite the Orlesian name, he didn't have an accent. Lots of native Kirkwallers were descended from Orlesians -- Kirkwall was part of the Empire in the Blessed Age.

She could feel the excitement rushing through her, but Melissa was able to keep her voice calm and steady. "Thank you, messere. Your praise means a great deal to me. I'm sure that when I finish my last year I'll be hearing from you."

Tomin smiled at her and answered, "Julie's heading up a new project for us, and she's mentioned your name as someone she'd like to take on. It's rare we have space for interns on such important new projects, but she's been insistent. If you can keep up the good work and it's a surety that we'll be speaking again about a permanent place for you here."

"New project?" Melissa asked, and Tomin nodded.

"I'll leave the details to Julie, but there's a lot of work coming our way. It's all hands on deck, but I'm sure you'll continue to be a stellar asset. It was nice meeting you."

Then he dismissed her and Julie with a wave. The two of them bundled back into the elevator where Julie gave her a hug. "He's gonna offer you a job!" she squeaked excitedly. "Tomin never wants to talk to interns unless they're the cream of the crop. You're pretty much in!"

Hawke felt her face flush hot as she stammered out a thanks to Julie, who waved it aside. 

"You're the one that's been working your butt off. Now get to your boy and tell him happy birthday from me," Julie said, and gave her one last, huge smile as the elevator let them off at their floor.

Melissa grinned to herself, hoping that Sebastian was having as good of a day as she'd had. Then again, it was his birthday and they were going out for their dinner and boat ride, so even if it hadn't been perfect, she could make sure it ended well. Excitement built in her as she gathered up her things and left, still smiling, to catch the bus back to campus.


	9. I is for Invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there readers, I'm putting a dub-con warning on this chapter because of alcohol abuse. While everything that happens is consensual, being drunk is still an impairment to judgement.

"I'd completely forgotten about the wedding, to be honest," Sebastian said to her, smiling an apology even as they made their way there. He'd apologized ever since springing it on her, but really, she didn't mind going. Weddings were all too rare occasions in her world, but the few she'd been to back in Ferelden had been fun.

Back home, it was more informal than what they walked into, but the invitation had stated that the attire was cocktail. The hotel was filled with flowers, candles and people that knew Sebastian on sight, friends and more that seemed only to want to slap him on the back and offer him a beer. After they checked into their room, Sebastian had reserved a two bedroom suite for them, she fell into a whirl of Sebastian's friends and their various significant others, dates and friends. She and Sebastian, while they stayed side by side, didn't talk to each other much at all until after the ceremony.

They were running and Hawke knew it. His birthday had been an off-kilter date for the both of them, late for dinner because of the small blaze that got out of hand at his fraternity house (a grease fire) and then rushed to get to the boat on time, which had proved a windy, chilly experience even in the velvety summer night. Small annoyances had dotted their evening, leading to mutual frustration as they tried to press on and enjoy the time together. They'd gone to sleep at her apartment that night exhausted and silent, and her forgetting to give him the gift she'd carried around in her purse all night.

The wedding was their chance to cut loose. The failure of the meticulously planned birthday hung heavy between them, and this was an unexpected chance to have some much needed fun again. So they didn't monitor how much they drank and ate, and the two of them danced until her feet hurt and then some more. It was a beautiful wedding, all white and gold with too many bridesmaids and groomsmen in matching light blue dresses and ties. Sebastian took off his tie and stuffed it in her purse and Melissa kicked off her shoes to dance to a too loud song that everyone except her seemed to know the words. They danced together and with other people until the room spun, drinking beers after the wine ran out, and laughing in a haze of spinning candlelight reflected off of empty wine glasses.

"You're a bridesmaid now! An honorary bridesmaid!" the bride yelled at her as they danced towards each other under the pulsing beat of a song whose words Melissa couldn't make out. Melissa kissed her on the cheek as they spun around together, felt her heart pounding under the corseted bodice of the wedding gown. Parents and other people that had been around at the beginning were long gone, their stamina worn off after a few dances. This wasn't their night. The bride's brilliant purple hair started to fall frizz from sweat and heat, but her smile never faded.

Drinks flowed all around her, and Melissa didn't think before picking up another glass, taking another shot, joining in every toast. The evening spun on in glittery, gossamer strands of hazy, laughter filled buoyancy that made every smile at Sebastian come easier, every dance more exuberant. A beautiful woman she didn't know by sight cornered Melissa in the bathroom and told her, "I love your dress, and I'd make out with you if you weren't here with a date." After assuring the girl that she too had a nice dress and was worthy of a makeout, Melissa switched from beer to water. It just made her pee more often and didn't stop the dizziness that had already built in her.

Wisely, she'd stopped drinking before getting sick to her stomach, but Sebastian was a much bigger person than she was. She hadn't been paying much attention to how much he was drinking until she stopped. He tipped back another beer when he came off the dance floor, catching Hawke by the hand as he did. 

"Do you want to go back to the room?" he asked, and when she said yes, they got their things and he slammed his beer. They left the party that was still going on, music fading as they headed towards the elevator bank.

"Dude, your ass looks amazing," one of the groomsmen told him in the elevator. "Like I'm in awe. Squats can't do all that."

Sebastian laughed loudly, too loud for the elevator, then turned around to shake said ass. "It's genetic," he said, and then thanked his mother profusely. When the groomsman departed to his floor, he pulled Melissa to him and kissed her soundly. For one moment she pulled back and looked into his eyes. With all the drinking, she expected them to be cloudy, dazed and slow, but they were bright and sure, and Melissa kissed him back. She kissed him all the way to the room and up against the wall inside of it.

The next morning she woke up with a headache, laying in bed next to Sebastian, who was sleeping the sleep of the drunk, snoring loudly. She looked over at him, dry eyes adjusting in the dim light. He was naked, she was certain of it, though a blanket covered his legs. A bit of the hip closest to her was uncovered, with a blanket twisted around him. She was wearing only her panties, her strapless bra on the floor across the room. Last night came back to her in flashes as she stumbled over the carpeted floor to the bathroom. 

She remembered the elevator, and then getting into the room. They'd been all over each other, not speaking, but undressing, kissing, busy hands doing too much and not enough. Her foggy mind supplied the sound of drunk laughter, too loud for the time of night and the inelegant grunts and moans that came later. She shuddered as she recalled his hot mouth on her, capturing a freed nipple in his mouth like he'd done once before when they'd been out in the rainstorm. Heat swept through her, and Hawke had to steady her drunken self as she made her way to the bath. Her bedroom door was open and the bed was still made.

They hadn't slept together, had they? Things certainly seemed like they were going in that direction. Melissa thought back and was rewarded with the renewed memory of things she'd done, places she'd kissed Sebastian, and she felt herself blush. She tried to think past the flurry of sensation and bleary, sensual memories. No, she didn't think they'd actually gotten to sex, her body didn't feel like they had. Relief and disappointment swept through her, and she wasn't sure which she felt more keenly.

For all that she drank the night before, her reflection wasn't as horrifying as she would have expected. Her hair had been in large, soft curls for the wedding, and it was flat on one side, with the other drooping despite all of her efforts the day before. It took her two tries to wash her face right, cleaning off the makeup she'd worn to the wedding. She brushed her teeth, gagged a little at the taste of the toothpaste, and took the flat brush from the vanity to try to tame her hair into smoother waves. Sebastian knocked on the door as she set to her hair.

"Are you all right? Are you sick?" Sebastian asked from outside the door. His voice was deep, groggy from the drink but laced with worry.

She opened the door before she thought about it, remembering too late that she was clad in only her underwear. Sebastian was rocking a similar look, and Melissa laughed at the startled look on his face when he saw her. Then she stared, but she could hardly help it. Sebastian was several inches taller than her, and all muscle, she'd known that from sleeping next to him. But seeing him as undressed as she was, was a treat. She took in all of him, from the lean muscle of his calves to the denser muscle of his thighs, dusted with dark hair. Hawke paused for a moment longer to appreciate his choice of a low-slung black boxer brief, whorls of dark hair creeping up from the waistband to cover his stomach and chest, since this was her only chance at seeing and remembering it. Sebastian was waiting with a wry smile for her to actually meet his eyes, and she did only after taking in every inch of him. She stepped back, just to keep herself from touching him and shook her head, then regretted the movement.

"M'm fine," she said, her words woolly as they came out. "Fine. Just thirsty. Head hurts. Not sick. Did we fuck?" she asked, meaning for it be casual, but lacking the subtlety in her hungover state.

"We did not, despite our best attempts," Sebastian said softly, his smile turning a little sad. He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door, taking the robe off the back of it and handing it to her. Melissa made to put it on, but her stomach lurched. It fell to the floor forgotten as she made for the toilet.

Sebastian pulled her hair away from her face and rubbed her back as she was sick, and once she was able to stand, he put the robe on her. She washed her face, shivering but feeling much better overall, and then waved him away so she could shower and brush her teeth in peace. The bride and groom were having a brunch to have another chance to talk to their friends and family before leaving for Antiva for a month.

They went to the brunch that morning both wearing sunglasses, and she politely declined any alcohol. It was comforting to know that they weren't the only ones a looking little peaky and suffering the aftereffects of drink that morning, judging from the number of people pushing their food around instead of eating. Sebastian in his mirrored aviators managed to look much more normal than she did, scrunched in an old sundress and desperately wishing she could go back to sleep. Melissa sat at a table filled with relatively quiet people, drank copious amounts of water, and felt the warmth of Sebastian's thigh as it brushed against hers whenever he turned to talk to someone else. What happened between them, how Sebastian felt about it, all of that had to wait as they waved the bride and groom off to catch their honeymoon flight.


	10. J is for Just

Hawke was standing outside of the Magistrate's court building with an increasingly irate lawyer at her side. The lawyer wasn't for her, but for Gamlen who had yet to show up to the court. He was running around forty-five minutes late, though not late enough that he'd missed his own hearing. At least things hadn't gotten there, yet. Her mother had asked her to come, which was the only reason she was standing with the sleazy man, thankfully more interested in his second sandwich than her for the moment.

Besides eating, he kept up a constant stream of complaints that dribbled out like the crumbs and mustard that stained his shirt. Gamlen wasn't an ideal client, but the way the lawyer complained Melissa almost thought that her uncle might have been better off without a lawyer. Then she remembered what Gamlen was like when left to his own devices.

She sneaked another look at her phone while still trying to look sympathetic to the disgusting lawyer -- no missed calls. Just when she felt her frustration rising and she was about to give into the urge to call him again, she looked up and saw them. Sebastian walked into sight wearing a suit much nicer than the ones he normally wore to work, and with him was Gamlen. Gamlen even had dressed properly though his suit was much worn and too small for him to button up the jacket. 

Sebastian was a sight for her sore eyes, and as strained as things were between them, Melissa was so glad to see him. The sunglasses she'd last seen at the after wedding brunch were perched on his nose and he looked perfect in his navy, slim fitted suit, a plain white shirt and tie with a delicate paisley pattern. She hadn't been expecting either of them to be honest, though it was only Gamlen that had promised to come. Sebastian came up to where she stood, shot his cuffs and gave her a kiss on the cheek in greeting. Gamlen, looking about as cheery as someone so obviously hungover could look also leaned in for a kiss, but Melissa's sense of self-preservation made her take a neat step back. He swayed dangerously into the space where she had been, before Sebastian pulled him upright. She settled on giving her uncle an awkward pat on the shoulder and then turned to the lawyer.

"We've just got time to make it to the court room, now that you're here." He turned on his heel as if he were the Archon of the Imperium, and Gamlen, sighing followed him up the steps into the building. Melissa hung back with Sebastian, taking his hand in hers.

"Not that I'm not extremely glad to see you, thank you by the way, but what are you doing here? How did you wind up with my uncle?"

"You were so worried when we last talked about this, I wanted to be here, if I could. Yesterday you sent me a text and said you weren't sure he was going to show up today, so I took the liberty. And I needed to talk to you. I know you'll be working to make up the time you missed today, so it's not likely I'd have another chance during the daylight any time soon."

She did have to make up the hours she was missing at work, but she'd already begun. Her day had started an hour earlier that morning and she'd leave late tonight. This was technically her lunch break, but as it threatened to spill over into a whole afternoon, she'd still need to make up more time. Melissa put her arm through his, and they walked slowly up the steps together. It felt good to be near him again, to feel his warm, comforting strength as she walked up the steps. They had been avoiding each other, not just since the wedding, though that piled on top of the space that had come between them after his birthday wasn't making it easier.

They hadn't really talked, and hadn't been too communicative before the wedding. A few text messages here and there, he was busy at work and she found ways to stay occupied when they'd normally make time for each other. The night before she'd complained about Gamlen just to keep from talking about everything else. It was strange, this thing that lingered between them because normally it would just be a little fooling around, but Sebastian treated it like it was so much more.

He stopped in the lobby, pulling her away from the center of the room where people are busy entering and exiting, walking quickly over the mosaic tile of the scales of justice on the floor. Sebastian pulled her closer to a corner that shot off to the hallway where Gamlen and her attorney stood outside the closed doors of a courtroom, but didn't go any further. Sebastian took off his sunglasses and held onto them, betraying his nervousness by the way he fiddled with them absently.

"I want to sleep with you," he began in a low, urgent whisper, and Melissa couldn't help the giggle that escaped her. Sebastian looked frustrated for a moment, but his expression softened to amusement before he went on again. "I mean, you know that, but I wanted to say it. I want you, but I'm not sure what I'm doing. Relationships have never been," he stopped in the middle of his sentence, and Melissa looked up to see Gamlen motioning frantically at them.

"I guess it's time," she said. Sebastian took her hand and followed her uncle into the magistrate's court. There was a pang of regret that went through her, something that made her feel like she might never hear the end of what Sebastian was trying to say.

Sebastian sat her smoothly in a bench behind her uncle and then leaned in to whisper. "It's not you; you're wonderful. This is all new territory, and I have no idea what I'm doing."

They had to rise then, and the magistrate acknowledged their deference so they could sit once again. She leaned in to whisper to him. "Why can't we?" she asked, with one eyebrow raised.

His answer took some time because the charges against her uncle had to be read off, demanding silence in the courtroom. Several counts of various kinds of fraud from the time that Gamlen forged a few prescriptions for himself, and a count of theft for stealing the pad they were written on. The courtroom wasn't the best place to have a conversation, but Melissa took heart that Sebastian had not only come to talk to her, but had retrieved her uncle and taken the time from work.

As the attorneys opened their case, he whispered to her. "I've not yet reconciled how to do this. Be in a committed relationship and figure out how sex is part of it. That doesn't mean I won't."

"Just not yet," she whispered back, and the court fell silent for a brief moment. He nodded at her in confirmation of her assessment. Melissa felt her face start to grow red, as if people could have heard and understood their conversation. A furtive look around told her no one was looking their way. She put her hand on Sebastian's knee, and he put a hand over it.

She thought she understood, but her attention was diverted away from the warm support of Sebastian's hand over hers to the stunning arguments being made against her uncle. He might have to spend sometime repaying his debts after this, but Melissa was less worried about that than anything else. Gamlen was an adult, old enough to know better. It was she and Sebastian that were the ones just figuring things out.


	11. K is for Kite

The days were too long and lovely to stay inside. Yes, it was hot, but he couldn't just sit idle all of the time.

Though there was a breeze the air had shifted and the day was already hot and sticky, heavy with humidity. Sebastian stood in the same spot, carefully controlling the kite as it caught the overheated breeze. When Melissa was ready to take over for him, he found her at his side with a welcome bottle of cold water. The ice that had formed inside the bottle was rapidly melting as he tipped it back, drinking so fast he could only just taste the ice on his tongue.

He heard Melissa laugh as the wind picked up the wing of his dragon kite and made it flip. It was harder to control and for a moment the effort of it flashed across her face, momentary strain making her features show surprise that folded into concentration in the span of a few seconds. Then all was right again and she laughed, making him smile.

Earlier they'd walked along the boardwalk, stopping to look out at the harbor before they gone on to the park to fly the kite. Lunch had come from the vendor carts along the way, and he was floating on a sea of fried food and ice water. His birthday had been almost two weeks before, but just now was it getting back to normal between them. This day, a calm and warm Sunday afternoon should have seen him going to the Chantry.

He looked over at her again, but didn't see her. Sebastian felt the weight of his guilt still, though he was trying to work through it. Missteps happened, and though he made a whole series of mistakes at that wedding, it wasn't anything they couldn't move past. So they had agreed to put it behind them, to keep working towards a harmony that resonated for both of them, but Sebastian remembered. More of that night stayed with him than it had with her, though he'd drank more than she had. Maker, that night had left him more confused than he let on, even as he tried to forget. Well, he couldn't actually forget it, not now, but he wanted to set those memories and the desires they created aside. There were moments that came back to him, erotic and strange filtered through his drunken memories, and arousing nonetheless. Every time that warm flush of arousal started to form, shame filled him, as it did now, sliding over his good mood like a cloud obscures the sun. Maker, give him the blessing of moving on soon, or at least enough peace so his traitorous mind wouldn't recall the sight of her naked at odd moments.

"You look like you want to say something," Melissa observed, sparing him a look before she turned her attention back to the kite.

He shook his head. "I was just thinking. Work stuff," he lied, but Melissa didn't buy it. She cocked her head to the side, looking at him before looking up at the kite.

"Do you think there are still dragons left out there?" she asked, throwing him off with her change of subject.

Sebastian chuckled. "We do live in the Dragon Age. There must be a reason for the name."

"I wouldn't mind being an adventurer," Hawke said, gazing dreamily up at the kite. "It would be more exciting than school."

"I guess I'd either have to come along or be left behind to worry," Sebastian began, "as I'm sure your family would."

Melissa was quiet for a beat too long, and Sebastian watched her handle the kite as they lapsed into silence. A group of kids walked by them, admiring the kite in loud voices, talking about the dragon shape and how cool it was, fluttering high above them in the breeze. Melissa flashed a grin at them, but didn't take the time to speak.

"Life's a little like the kite," Melissa started, but then stopped. He waited, wanting to know what she meant, but deciding not to intrude on her train of though. "It's like the kite," she said again, and this time went on, "it works best with wind. I could run around, get it to fly out behind me or buy an enchanted one that flies on its own, I suppose, but that isn't the point. Too much wind will ruin the kite, but the right balance of wind and skill can make it soar."

She was staring up at the kite still, her eyes narrowed as she watched it dance in the breeze. He watched it too, saw her she shifted her weight and grip to make it fly just right. He knew how to do that too, but she made it look easier than it was. Sebastian wasn't graceful with the kite, using the brute force of his muscular arms to control it instead of his whole body. Melissa understood the mechanics better than he did, and the dragon was silhouetted darkly against the bright blue of the sky, looking as it was were poised to take off at any moment.

"Do you want an adventure? To take off and go on one?" he finally asked.

Melissa shook her head. "I think I've had a few already, with no dragons involved. Maybe after graduation. I don't think I can handle senior year and dragon slaying."

She meant to make him laugh and it worked, though when she turned once more his eyes caught the line of her legs, and he recalled their splendid softness wrapped around his waist. Hawke had beautiful legs, hips that flared wide from a slender waist and if he went up a little further... Sebastian shook his head, trying to rid it of such thoughts. Perhaps he had a few dragons of his own to slay right here, and didn't need to go looking for them either.


	12. L is for Late

They weren't speaking as they sat in the car together. They were going to be late, and Melissa absolutely hated to be late. Late was lost wages, missed opportunities. She didn't have his charm and resources to pull on and even if she did, she'd still think being late was just rude. It was lucky for both her doctor and her that they were almost there, just as the time for her appointment came and went on the clock.

Two nights before she'd mentioned that she was going to see the eye doctor. Turned out that she and Sebastian saw the same doctor, but when she said she was going to take the bus from work, he'd offered to drive her. A mix of feelings rose within her, a trepidation and wariness, combined with the same sort of helpless sinking she felt whenever the buses ran too off schedule and made her walk into a class after the start, or jog in late to Athenril's shop again, waiting for her rebuke. Sebastian, beside her, hummed a tune she couldn't place as he pulled into the parking lot.

Melissa hurried out of the car, leaving a frowning Sebastian in her wake. She didn't see his confusion, didn't pay attention to him again as she walked up to the reception area. Blowing an errant hair out of her eyes, she started with an apology for her lateness.

The receptionist just smiled at her, the same as she always did. The doctor took her back at once, and only on her way to the exam room did she hear the door open again to admit Sebastian. She heard the receptionist greet him, and then ask, "Are you why she's late? Melissa's always early." A question that was answered by Sebastian's sheepish laughter.

"You know Sebastian?" Dr. George asked. Dr. George was a woman about thirty years old, tall and fair, with a soft voice and kind nature.

"He's my boyfriend," Melissa said, and the doctor gave her a wide, knowing smile.

"And he doesn't understand punctuality," the doctor ventured. When Melissa nodded, she went on, "It's not like anyone's ever really going to punish him for being late. He's never going to see it as anything more than a slight breach of etiquette on his part." She turned out the lights and turned on the screen that showed the letters for her eye tests. "Let's get you taken care of, so I can dilate your eyes just in time to wear off before dinner."

In that moment of understanding, Melissa heard what the doctor wasn't saying. She may not have grown up the way Melissa did in Ferelden, but here was someone else who understood. Late wasn't a luxury either of them could have afforded, not in the way Sebastian did.


	13. M is for Malcontent

His father had deigned to send an email to say that he thought that Sebastian could have done better in the past term. True, his grades hadn't been what he'd expected but they had by no means been terrible marks. He hadn't made the Dean's List this semester, and he felt the weight of that in every word of his father's email. Maker, a scolding by email. It called back to the bad old days when he and his father could barely talk to each other. Things were better between them recently, but that wasn't much balm to put on the painful sting of being dressed down once again by his father.

He hadn't even called to see if something had gone wrong. Nothing had in particular, the classes were just challenging. Hawke had tried to help him, but even her quick grasp of concepts hadn't been able to bridge the gap for him. It didn't help that she wasn't an engineer. There was only so much she could do since civil engineering wasn't her major. Besides, school came easy to Melissa, even if she did work hard, she had a natural gift for mathematics and the sciences, though math was her preference.

Sometimes school was just difficult, for no reason other than the fact that it was. His father, as learned as he liked to pretend to be, hadn't ever gone to college. His grandfather had arranged for it, but then his father joined the army at the last moment and deployed to a border region for a year. When he came back, he married his first wife. It was an experience his father couldn't quite understand, and the only way he knew how to quantify it was through grades.

Sebastian went down to the common room of the KSE house, not wanting to sit in his bedroom alone. Melissa was out with her intern group from the insurance company where she worked, celebrating a birthday. Later she was supposed to go see her family for dinner, and he doubted he'd talk to her before tomorrow. Even without her around, he was in the mood for company, and his house was nothing if not social.

"What's up St. Seb?" Canoe asked as he came down and sat on the couch. They made stupid, idle talk while streaming a recent episode of a show. He managed to get sucked into the show, and the easy conversation of the brothers that came to join them. They ordered pizza, drank beer, and Sebastian let some of the tension from his father's email melt away.

He'd call his father tomorrow, explain things so he wouldn't be too upset.


	14. N is for Nourishment

One of the things Melissa missed the most about Ferelden was the garden. The garden wasn't the same as the things they farmed. Much of what was harvested from the farm was sold or bartered so they could live, the things that they didn't need to eat or store to survive. She'd grown up very good at making things from scratch and making other things last. What had grown on in the garden wasn't the things that allowed them to live, but it helped to make life better. That was always the difference between the garden and the farm.

She missed that, missed watering the pots of strawberries that she and Bethany learned how to make into jam after she read a book from the library on it. The garden had flowers and food alike, and combined with her window pots of herbs, it was a proper, usable garden. Even mother had been pulled into it after a while, when Melissa and Bethany had begun making beeswax salves infused with calendula and lavender to sell at the farmer's market in the summertime.

But between moving and surviving in Kirkwall, all the gardening that had been such a huge part of her life, and her solace, had been lost along the way. Her seeds were long gone in their flight, and more the shame that was. Gamlen's apartment was a small, achingly hot place in the summer and too damn close to frigid in the winter. No plants would survive that place, but now that she'd moved into her ground floor apartment, it was a possibility. Melissa could start her window pots again, but she was more like than not to forget to water them during the school year. Bela would be little help with that, she had no green thumb at all. There was the courtyard where their neighbors left their compost, but Melissa feared that anything edible that grew there would be taken up by her neighbors as community property.

She wanted to think about starting a garden again, because her neck hurt from stress all the time. Gardening wasn't the easiest hobby on a body, but Melissa wanted some measure of her peace back. Now that she had some money saved, her mind had calmed down from its constant survival mode, and she wanted to thrive. She talked about it to Bela, who confirmed that she wouldn't remember to water plants and feared overwatering them anyway, to Bethany, who thought it was a good idea but was busy with the custom costuming site she ran with mother and school and work in the clinic, to Sebastian, who listened but had no real experience with gardening or plants.

Melissa was going to discard the idea. Her senior year was coming up in just a few weeks, and there would be her final projects and job interviews and the like. She might even move out of her apartment with Bela, even though they hadn't really discussed anything that far in the future yet. Window herb pots could wait until she had some more time, a set schedule and windows that got more sun.

She was on her way out of the door, she felt like she spent more time going in and out of her apartment than she spent there these days, and got her mail on the way. There was one lone letter for Isabela, a magazine and a padded envelope with Melissa's name on it. It was from Carver -- he wrote in neat block letters -- and the return address was from Ferelden. He'd mentioned that he was training there in his last email, and she was glad that he was out of the heat of Kirkwall.

_"Hey Sis, saw these and thought of you. We'll be stopping in Kirkwall again soon. See you then, Carver."_

It was packets of seeds, mostly the types of herbs she'd grown before in the windowsill in Ferelden as they'd been growing up. The last one, she saw as she shuffled through them, was calendula with a bright orange flower on the front of the package. She slid the packets carefully back into the package and hugged it to her chest, smiling. She'd thank Carver when he came to visit.


	15. O is for Opulent

He hadn't meant for it to become such a formal event when they'd made a plan for him to have dinner with Melissa's family. It was supposed to be a casual meal, at a small place that they both loved where they could easily talk and eat, letting the night spool out with little chance of event or interruption. If it went poorly, there was no need to suffer through awkward courses, as it would have been if he'd taken Melissa to meet his family. The food was good, the service excellent and the atmosphere not intimidating but still upscale enough, and he was pleased with his selection. But at the last minute he'd called for a reservation and realized that they'd closed because of construction on their road making it not profitable to be open during the slow weeknights, and Sebastian had to find another place.

He didn't trust his own experience, because as a student he ate where they could get the most food the quickest, and when he was in the Chantry, he ate simply. That only left his few experiences as Prince of Starkhaven to draw on, the dinners with his family where they shut down whole places and his father made a point to talk to the owner, to play the benevolent leader and shake their hands and learn their names for the night. Not helpful experience when it came to taking out the Melissa's family for the first time. So he'd asked at work when he couldn't think of anyplace appropriate.

"Just take them to that place on 24th street, the one with the windows that open all the way onto the street," Heather advised him one day at work. "Me mam loves it there."

"What do they serve?" Sebastian asked.

"None of that artsy mess, and big portions of the food. It's a good place. Look it up online if you want," she advised, but he hadn't before they'd shown up for the reservation.

For all that they didn't serve 'artsy mess', it was definitely an expensive restaurant. Not that he minded the expense, but rather he could feel that he'd put the Hawke family into some mild distress when they walked in the door. Melissa gave him an arch look, but said nothing as he dropped her hand to speak to the headwaiter. It was too late to worry about it once they'd already arrived, and Sebastian put his best face on, trying to soothe them towards being more comfortable.

"I'd never heard of this place before, so I can't say how the food is, but my work colleagues recommend it," he admitted, and Melissa squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"I'm sure it will be fine, and it was kind of you to make arrangements," Leandra Hawke said, giving him a bland smile. She may not have married noble, but Melissa's mother bore all the signs of finishing school in her manners.

Bethany simply gave him a look and said nothing until they were shown to their table. He caught her looking back at Melissa once, who simply shrugged without letting go of his hand. No one spoke as they waited for a table, but that wait and the heavy silence between them was mercifully short. It was when they were finally seated that he felt them relax, the contents of the menu reassuring them as the expansive decor had not. 

"Oh good, it's actually edible food. I thought you'd take us someplace so fancy we might go home hungry," Bethany admitted, not looking up from her menu.

Sebastian laughed, and all three women looked over at him as he answered. "Not on our first dinner together. Maybe next time, if you feel like dressing up."

Leandra shot Bethany a look, but Melissa squeezed his hand again under the table. When he looked over at her, she was grinning at him. He hadn't much experience with her family, and though Sebastian wanted to make a good impression, it was more important to make an honest one. Bethany looked up over her menu and looked between him and her sister, and then nodded.

"I'll take you both up on that, but maybe without Mother so we can have fun," she teased. Leandra, too well trained to grumble, managed to look both like she was ignoring Bethany and imperious at the same time.

"Always leaving your mother at home now that both of my girls are in college means that I'll have more time to myself. It's high time Melissa wasn't the only one with a paramour. Perhaps I'll find one for myself," Leandra said, and then she laughed at the almost identical looks of shock both Melissa and Bethany gave her. He didn't know how to respond, so he just gave her a small grin of his own before turning back to study his menu.

Families were complicated beasts. It would be no easier on Melissa when she finally met his, and they'd likely expect more than just a good meal and some conversation. If he was ever allowed back to Starkhaven. One day he'd have to share with her the details of why he didn't go home, the fights that had ensued, the way each careful meal and message from his parents tried to repair such a vast hole that none of them truly knew how to fix.

Bethany gave him her first smile of the night, as she set down her wine glass after taking a first, tentative sip. She approved. He smiled back, pleased to see her looking a little more at ease, and his thoughts of his family cleared from his mind. Sebastian settled back in his plush chair, just in time for the wine to be set down in front of him. It was good wine, though not the best he'd ever had. It would go well with the food, and better with his company. Whatever happened tonight with the Hawkes, he was glad to finally be formally meeting them.


	16. P is for Performance

She wanted to see a play. It was strange for Melissa, to have a chance to go and do things, to have money and time to spare for things like art. Art was usually trips to museums on free days or sketches made by Carver. But she'd gotten a flyer at the apartment, addressed to Isabela, who was surprisingly very much into the drama scene. At least more than would probably be expected from a marine biology major with a love of sailing away every chance she got.

She asked Bethany to go with her, but she was working. Her fellow interns were fun, but she didn't feel close enough to any of them to go out and do more than just drink or have dinner. Melissa settled for taking out her mother, who did seem a little lonelier than usual. Maybe it was because Bethany had suddenly gotten so busy with working and class, and Gamlen was still locked up for his prescription pad antics, but she seemed pleased with the invite. 

Gamlen was going to be gone for a while, long enough that Bethany and Mother had come to the realization that they'd need to learn to live without him. Instead of co-renters on the lease, his name was now gone, since he couldn't rent an apartment while in jail. They'd begun the long, laborious process of cleaning that place and Melissa wished them luck. At least they had a place to stay and now no one was going to be stealing the rent money from them.

Even with what a nuisance her uncle was, Melissa knew that Leandra was quite sad that her brother was enjoying the hospitality of the Viscount's cells. Caring for her wayward brother gave her something to do when there had been little else they could do. Now it seemed that both Melissa and her mother had free time, at least enough to see a play together.

They walked to the theatre together, chatting along the way as they strolled, careful to keep their pace slow enough that they didn't wilt in the heat. They weren't going to one of the Hightown theatres, the places that glittered and had marquees and box offices that catered to dressy crowds in the evenings, but to a student play.

"How is Sebastian, dear? He was more nervous than we were the other night," her mother asked as they walked.

"Fine," Melissa began, and sensing that her mother wanted more of an answer, began to talk about his internship with the Viscounty engineering offices and random things that had happened since their dinner.

Her mother was quieter than usual, withdrawn in the way that she was asking more questions than she was answering, and Melissa got the impression she was only half-listening to the answers. Then she got around to what was really on her mind, which, to Melissa's surprise wasn't Gamlen or even her, despite the questions her mother had posed her about Sebastian. 

"Bethany has changed, hasn't she?" she asked, and looked up to meet Melissa's eyes. There was worry there, but a hesitation as well. Her mother looked away first.

"Yes, I think so. She seems..." Melissa trailed off, searching for the right word. She let the pause expand as she thought, unhurried as they entered the foyer of the theatre area. It was small, floored in those hard, large panes of unremarkable tile that is always used in bulk and smelled like schools always did.

"Angry," Leandra finished for her, but Melissa shook her head. Though Bethany did seem harder, that wasn't the word she'd been searching for.

"Lost," Melissa finally said. "The same way Carver did before he left."

The realization was hard to stomach, knowing how the experience of idle anger and resentment and uncertainty had driven Carver to leave them. Though his letters now conveyed a sense of peace that he'd recovered, it was still difficult to bear his absence. They all missed him, his snide comments, the way he snored so loudly that Bethany often went over to give him a shove, the way he always was there to protect and defend when they needed it. 

"My poor babies," Leandra muttered, and turned away. Melissa pretended not to notice her mother dabbing at her eyes as she went to will call to pick up their tickets from the bored student attendant.


	17. Q is for Quiet

Campus was a lot quieter in the summer, with far fewer parties to go along with the reduction in his responsibilities. Sebastian got the feeling that Melissa missed the parties sometimes, just because she never got to go to many before she came to Kirkwall Tech. He was growing sick of them, the novelty having long since worn off for him. It was easy for that to happen because he'd been going to parties and drinking since well before his fifteenth birthday.

Sebastian preferred the quiet, like it was today between them. They'd started out with Isabela in the morning, it seemed like the only time she wanted to wake up early was to go down to the shore. She'd taken them and few of her other friends out on a boat owned by her latest rich 'friend'. 

They'd spent hours on the water until evening, when he and Melissa had retreated back to the KSE house tanned and drowsy. Melissa had been drinking, but he hadn't, and she wanted nothing but a shower and to drink a large glass of ice water before collapsing into his bed. Her hair, normally so straight and glossy black any light reflected off it, was now dull from salt water, the baby hairs around her face fuzzy and untamed. She looked adorable, half-asleep in his bed.

It struck him then how much he loved her. It wasn't a question at all, he just loved her, without realizing he'd fallen in love at some point. The realization was potent and riveted him to the floor; Sebastian had never been in love before. It had come on him so fast, he hadn't realized what was going on until he was already too far in. He had thought it would be a more conscious choice, a series of arguments with himself until he gave in, but as he stood dumbstruck in the doorway to his bathroom, Sebastian knew there would be no internal arguments -- it was a done deal.

"Ugh, I think I need more water. Sebastian?" she asked, rolling over to upright so she could look around the room for him.

"Water?" he asked, walking over to the cup she'd just drained and put back on his nightstand. "Do you want anything else?"

"Can I shower now?" Melissa asked, and he nodded. "How are you?" she asked him, peering up through bleary, sleepy eyes.

"Tired too, but mostly fine. It was a nice day, but I'm glad to be off the water. That rolling feeling," he said, and she laughed. He loved that sound, the softness of her laughter. Sebastian had to stop himself from sitting in bed with her, just to be near her. 

"Stays with you, yeah. I shouldn't have drank, you were smart to avoid it. Now I feel like I could drink an ocean of water and it wouldn't be enough."

"I'll get you some more," Sebastian said and took her glass. She said thanks and yawned again, standing up to get in the shower. He gave her a long look as she stretched, drawing her attention. She grinned but said nothing, just returned his look until he shook himself out of it. 

She was quiet as he left, and when he closed the door behind him he heard her humming a tune he couldn't place. He stood there listening until he heard Melissa go into the bath and start the water. He loved her, now how was he supposed to tell her?


	18. R is for Realty

Carver wasn't surprised to see Melissa standing outside of the apartment instead of in it when he came up. He ambled through Lowtown, stopping to talk to far too many familiar faces still out doing the same thing as they'd been when he lived there. 

What he was surprised to see was her boyfriend. Sebastian Vael. Both his mother and Bethany had written about him, but he'd heard nothing from Melissa. She'd been as mum on the subject as their mother had been effusive. If he hadn't gotten Mother and Bethany's emails, he wouldn't have known who he was as he stood there at the door, his arm casually around Melissa. They were laughing about something, which actually made him feel a little kinder towards Vael. Melissa didn't laugh nearly enough, at least not in his memories.

When he came up the steps, Melissa noticed him first and left Sebastian's side to pull him into a hug. Small as she was compared to him, Carver let her pull him off balance into a fierce hug. She'd missed him, which surprised him because he'd been such a pain before he left. Carver laughed as she had to steady herself by pulling against him and ruffled her hair affectionately, which made her scowl at him.

"Sister, I've missed you too," Carver said, still chuckling. He looked over at Sebastian and gave him a nod. "You must be Sebastian. It's good to meet you."

"Aye, and you as well," Sebastian replied, in a thick sounding accent. He must sound far more Starkhaven than he did normally, because Melissa tossed a bemused look his way at his answer. 

They shook hands briefly before Melissa turned to Carver and said, "You'd better go and in let Mother get a look at you. She's dying to see you."

The smile on his face grew larger as he opened the unlocked door and let himself inside. His mother hugged him in almost the same way his sister had on the doorstep as soon as he crossed the threshold. Carver let himself get caught up in the feeling of hugging his mother, the way she always smelled so familiar and like herself, and how she could comfort him with her touch, no matter how much bigger he was than her.

"My Carver, you're back. We've missed you so much," Leandra said. The words held tears in them, and Carver felt his own eyes start to well at the words. Before he had time to cry or properly let go of his mother, Bethany dog piled onto his side, and looped an arm around her. The three of them stood there, locked in a hug he never wanted to end.

#

Sebastian declined Mother's request for him to stay for dinner. He'd come into the house with Melissa after giving everyone a minute with Carver, walking into the dim apartment redolent with the smells of peach pie and barbecued chicken and vegetables. Melissa held onto his hand as she watched Bethany let go of Carver, noticing that both of them looked more alike now that they'd been apart than they had before.

She leaned in to whisper to Bethany when she broke from Carver. "You missed a spot on your neck," Melissa said, and discreetly touched her own where the red and tender skin shown on Bethany's neck. Her sister, always quick, pressed two fingers to the spot and brought forth a healing spell to get rid of the love bite.

"That's damn useful," Sebastian muttered, not even pretending he didn't see what had transpired between them.

"Did you just cast, Bethany?" Leandra said, turning to face them, a small frown on her face. Carver was giving her a serious look, but both Melissa and Bethany betrayed nothing.

"Bruise," said both Melissa and Bethany at the same time, as Bethany held out an unblemished arm. "Not sure where I got it from, but it's gone now," she added.

Leandra finally picked up on Sebastian's presence, and though he declined to stay, he came over to kiss her goodbye. She patted him affectionately on his cheek before Sebastian went to Carver to clasp hands again in farewell, their brief introduction all the time they'd get to know each other on this visit. Bethany, to Melissa's surprise, reached over and pulled Sebastian into a hug, and he whispered something in her ear to make her laugh. Melissa was smiling without realizing it, walking Sebastian back out onto the porch with a grin plastered to her face.

"Do you want me to come pick you up?" Sebastian asked.

"No, I don't think so. I'll text you if I do," she told him, but she almost sure she would either stay the night or would get Carver to walk her home. She'd like to talk with her brother in private, if they had a chance.

"It was good to meet your brother," he began, but broke off. "I find myself missing mine, from time to time, but they've never come to see me."

She almost asked him about that, but caught his carefully neutral face in the dimming twilight and decided that it wasn't a conversation she'd like to have on the porch, and just stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on his jaw. Sebastian caught her with an arm and pulled her into a deeper kiss, letting his hand trail down her back and up again as they kissed. When they broke apart, he gave her a small smile and reminded her to text him if she needed a ride, then set off. Normally, she would have watched him until he disappeared, but Carver's laugh was coming from inside the house, and she stepped eagerly back inside.

#

"So we own an estate in Hightown?" Melissa asked her mother. They were languishing at the table, all overstuffed with food. Bethany looked particularly drowsy; she'd been out the entire day and night before and had just come in before dinner. 

"I've already reclaimed our title, but the estate is more tricky. Gamlen had no right to sell it or give it away to anyone, but I can't prove that without the will. I've tried to get the copy from the Viscount's Records, but they can't find it. So to get the house back, I'll need the original," Leandra explained.

"Where's that?" Carver asked.

"In the house, according to Gamlen's last letter. Since it doesn't belong to me, I'm going to have to ask if I can get in, and that's the hard part. I'm not sure anyone is even in there at the moment, so I need to track down the owners."

Melissa didn't know a lot of people that did legitimate business in Kirkwall. Her first thought was to ask Varric, since he seemed to know a little about everything, but then she remembered Julie at work. Her internship was drawing to a close, but Julie had basically told her a job was waiting when she graduated, and that kind of security made Melissa nearly dizzy with relief. Maybe she could help with this. Julie, apart from being one of her main work contacts, was from an old Hightown family and lived in their estate. She might remember who bought the house or how to get in touch with them. Melissa suggested Julie as a place to start, and was frankly appalled when it was Bethany who scoffed at her idea.

"We should just break in," Bethany said. "It's ours anyway, and I know you can pick locks. Carver's here so he can watch our back and I can magic anyone that gets in our way."

"Have you seen anyone around the place? We need to know if it's really empty before we try the windows," Carver said, warming up the subject. He leaned towards Bethany across the small, round table, and seemed to fill up half of it on his own as he did.

"I've never seen anyone outside," Melissa admitted, absently crossing her legs as she tried to think back on her many trips past the building, "and I know the place because I pass by it on the way to and from work. There are lights on a night, but they could be on timers."

"What about the doors?" Carver asked. "Do you know how many there are?"

"I am not hearing my own children planning this," Leandra said, standing up suddenly, her whole face flushed and angry. "Never in my life did I think I'd managed to raise a group of ruffians, but here they are. This talk goes no further," she said, and all three of them looked down, chastened.

"Sorry, Mother," Carver said, and his sisters echoed his apology. But when Leandra got up from the table to clear away the remnants of dinner, all three of them exchanged a look. Melissa could hardly stop herself from smiling and giving it all away before Mother returned, and they had to play at a contrition that not a one of them actually felt once more. 


	19. S is for Starkhaven

"He's banned, you know," Varric said as they walked together.

There had been little chance for Melissa to see him over the summer, but he was still stuck on the idea of her and Sebastian together. It was partially her fault that they hadn't talked -- Varric had been her stalwart friend and helped her when she first came to Kirkwall, but her time with her internship and Carver's quick visit, and Gamlen's court date and subsequent arrest, it had taken her mind from friendly chats. She felt like she barely had time to spend with Sebastian, which was why she spent so many nights just sleeping next to him so she could be near him. But the lack of contact showed in that Varric wanted to pick up their discussion from spring as if months hadn't gone by and she and Sebastian had just gone out for Nevarran food.

"From Starkhaven? Yes, I know about that," she told him. "Listen, have you talked to my sister lately?" she asked.

A sharp intake of breath let her know he had. "Sunshine's a little messed up right now," he said.

"I know. I've been trying to keep up with her, but it's been hard this summer since we aren't working together," Melissa said.

"And you've been spending all your time at a certain frat house."

"You sound like you have something you want to say about Sebastian, so go on."

"Have you ever been to Starkhaven?" he asked, unexpectedly. They were walking towards campus, because Varric was preparing for a literature class he was teaching in the fall.

Despite the lack of a formal literature department at Tech, they did have a really good school of Philosophy in the Department of Arts, Humanities and Sciences, which was where Varric studied. Every student, even the most technically-minded, had to take lit and humanities classes as part of their core requirements. In the spring he'd be a doctor and an adjunct professor, if he didn't take the semester-long break he was threatening to take to 'polish up his dissertation'.

"In all of my travels, I haven't made it to the jewel that is Starkhaven. Especially since I'm chronically broke and you know it," Melissa pointed out amiably. Varric gave a short laugh at her response and continued.

"So that's a no. Well, I'm not going to bullshit you--"

"Since when?"

He ignored her interruption. "But it's beautiful there. Not quite as pretty as Antiva in my opinion, but still beautiful. Lots of parks, granite streets, farmers markets, fair days and holiday festivals. The place isn't just scenic for the tourists, the city is kept clean and crime is low. The crown spends a lot of money on keeping it that way, making sure the streets are swept and the parks are maintained. People are happy, but it costs a lot to live there, naturally. Costs even more to run it, but people have a way of being appreciative when they know how well off they are."

"Where is this going, Varric?"

"He has a lot of power, even if it's just in reserve. You don't really understand that until you see Starkhaven, especially as opposed to Kirkwall. His family could probably buy this city, and Ansburg too just for kicks. Even if they're absolutely ashamed and angry with him, and they may have been when he got exiled, I don't know, but even so, he's made a choice to stay away. You've got to wonder why," Varric said, turning to look at her. They stopped walking.

"Do you think it matters more why he stays away or that they haven't lifted his exile?" Melissa asked. She'd thought along the same lines before, but since she'd never traveled to Starkhaven, she could only guess at the money and power that came along with Sebastian's lineage.

"Yeah, I think it does, but I don't know which matters more. It should to him, and by extension you. If he never asks you to go to Starkhaven, that might mean more than it seems."

She looked down at him and frowned, but nodded. "I know," she said, but didn't elaborate further. Sebastian had his secrets and whatever penance or demons to work through, and they were his alone until he invited her to understand more. She wasn't going to push that, not when she'd only been dating him for a few months. Maybe in a year or two, if things weren't changed they could talk more on it, but in a year they'd be graduated and working and who knew if they'd even be together. She hoped they would, but for all she knew Sebastian could up and go back to Starkhaven once his degree was finished.

"If you ever get to go don't eat that fish and egg pie thing," Varric said and then added, "it's fucking awful no matter what they say. Pretentious bastards."

"Let me ask you something," Melissa began, and didn't wait for Varric to make any kind of answer, "I know it bothers you that I'm with Sebastian, and you won't answer why, but you just expect it to be okay between us that you sleep with my sister whenever you want?"

"It's more like whenever she wants, Hawke."

"You know what I mean. I never say anything about the two of you, because it's your business, but you've been on me about Sebastian from the start."

Varric didn't look at her as he answered, a tinge of red in his cheeks from her statement about Bethany. Melissa had never once before brought it up between them, but she'd always known, just as she knew about Bethany and Athenril, and pretty much anyone she felt like fucking these days, and Carver and Isabela. Varric rocked back on his heels as he looked up at the buildings on campus, not focusing on a single one.

"He's easy to fall in love with, but I've never heard of him being in love. I suppose we all have to fall at least once, and for your sake, I hope he falls in love with you because he has a terrible track record for all the people he hasn't loved in the past." Varric sighed when she didn't answer and spoke again, "And I just don't like Starkhaven that much, so I distrust people from there. Call it leftovers from years of watching Bartrand do business with them."

"You're concerned."

"I would be for anyone getting involved with him the way you have, but especially for you. Bethany talks a lot about Ferelden, so I probably know more about you than is fair. For what it's worth, she likes Sebastian. The words "Lucky bitch" have come up more than once."

Melissa tried not to smile and failed. She wished for one moment that she knew just what Bethany had told Varric about her, but knew better than to ask. Instead she turned to Varric and said, "If I ever get asked to go to Starkhaven, you'll have to tell me where not to eat."


	20. T is for Thunderstorm

For a change of pace they'd decided to stay at Melissa's apartment, since it wasn't stiflingly hot, listening and watching a thunderstorm as it rolled towards Kirkwall. The window in the living room looked out over Kirkwall towards the vast blue sea, which was part of the reason why Isabela had picked the apartment to rent. That night they'd come for the good view and stayed because they had nothing else to do but watch the storm as it came and went. With the window open and a storm on the horizon, the temperature had cooled and the winds were making the curtains flutter at the sides of the window. 

Sebastian sat in the room with Melissa and Isabela, idly drinking a beer as they all lay around in various states of repose, talking and watching the storm out of the window. Melissa was resting with her head against his chest, and Isabela sprawled over the couch. The three of them had drank their way through most of the beer since coming in from work that evening, not that it was particularly strong beer, or even good, but it had been free. Leftover from some party the KSE had held last semester, Sebastian liberated it from the the fridge at the house and brought it over.

"There should be a party on Friday nights," Isabela lamented, not for the first time that evening.

"And yet there isn't, and we're a shade too drunk to go find one at this point," Melissa pointed out. Sebastian slipped a hair back from her forehead as she spoke, letting his finger trail down her cheek. 

"Can you imagine how boring a requisite party would be?" Sebastian quipped, and he felt Melissa laugh against his chest.

"This probably has a mandatory party beat. I can't imagine how boring it would be to force fun. It would be like work," she said. She got up as she spoke, leaving only traces of her warmth across his chest and wrinkles on his t-shirt. She took the empty bottles from beside them, and the one dangling from Bela's hand and went into the kitchen to deposit them on the counter with a clatter. When she came back Sebastian handed her another beer that he'd opened for her, and she settled back against his chest. She fell just heavily enough that he knew the drink was getting to her.

"Did you ever hear from the Viscount about your mother's inheritance claim?" Isabela asked, but Melissa shook her head. 

"Nothing yet. I don't think he believes we had the real will, but we did and I had a notary make a copy before I gave it to mother. It could be weeks though," she said, sighing.

Sebastian said nothing and drank his beer. All of the Amell affairs were such a mess, he was surprised they'd even been re-granted their title, to be honest. Melissa had no idea of the gravity of that development, she only saw that her mother was sad and displaced and wanted to live in her unlawfully sold childhood home again. Melissa would do anything to help her family, and while it was an admirable trait, it also felt like a flaw sometimes.

The storm started to really ramp up outside, lighting streaking down and brightening the skies for mere fractions of a moment before returning them to darkness. Isabela sat up on the couch to look out of the window, and both Melissa and Sebastian turned in the same direction. It was beautiful, the skies full of dark, rolling clouds, echoing thunder and strikes of purple and white light. 

"Why did you sleep with Carver?" Melissa asked when the thunder had quieted, and Sebastian froze beneath her, suddenly wary of moving at all.

Isabela's voice was unusually gentle as she answered. "Sweetness, it had nothing to do with you. He's a man now, as you saw."

"Why are my friends so into fucking my siblings?" Melissa asked, but her voice was full of a hurt weariness, not anger.

Isabela shrugged at the question, but Sebastian had the feeling she was really considering her answer. "They're cute. And your sister is looking for a party. Not that she's ever come to me for one," Bela said, adding the last statement quite firmly. 

"Worry less about them, Melissa," Sebastian said, reaching out to pull her closer. "People need their space to do what feels right for them. Speaking as someone that went off the rails for a while," he said, and Isabela coughed pointedly, which just made him smile, "I'd say they're just busy being regular nineteen year olds and not in any real trouble."

"I wasn't like that at nineteen!" Melissa exclaimed, her point punctuated by another crash of thunder and bolt of lightning.

"You were an accountant in training at nineteen," Isabela pointed out. Sebastian made a questioning noise, but Melissa crossed her arms over her chest and didn't answer. A look was exchanged between her and Isabela, and then Melissa nodded.

"She kept the books for local businesses at night, worked at a grocery store during the day and tried to keep her family going when her mother was crushed under by depression and couldn't get treatment," Isabela explained to him. She turned to Melissa and said, "You had less freedom when you were nineteen and probably could have done with a fuck fest. It's because you've made your family secure that the twins can go on and figure out what they want to do and who they want to do it with."

No one said anything else as they watched the storm rage on, getting further out towards the sea. Sebastian split his attention between Melissa and the thunderstorm, wondering which one of them was more volatile at the moment. He wanted to ask her more about it, but Melissa was closed-mouthed about anything around the time her father died, and he had no wish to push her. 

She sometimes woke up sobbing about it, crying in her sleep with dreams where she went to hug her father and he vanished, with too much left unsaid and things undone. In those morning hours, he held her, but never wanted to ask questions when she so desperately needed comfort. Later, when she was awake, he couldn't bring himself to ask, especially knowing that after all these years it still brought her such pain. Sebastian did know was that the death of Malcolm Hawke proved to be cataclysmic for his family, but he had supposed that the loss of any parent would be. He knew next to nothing about the circumstances that brought her to Kirkwall, but he'd not told her the complete truth of his own either.

He reached a hand out to her, pulled her back toward his chest. She let him, but didn't settle against him as she had before. Melissa turned to Isabela to say, "Bela, I know Carver's technically an adult, I do. It's just weird."

"It's always strange to think of people know you having it off. It's weird to sit here and watch the two of you pretend like you don't want to be all over each other."

He couldn't deny that. His hands, never idle when they were around Melissa, had been roaming further and more boldly as the night went on. The dim light of the kitchen was the only one on in the apartment, and he'd assumed between flashes of lightning that Isabela couldn't see what they were doing. For her part, Melissa had encouraged him, leaning into his touches and moving so they were both more accessible, as well as doing some exploring of her own. Her thumb had begun tracing a light circle on the inside of his thigh early in the night, pushing past where his shorts ended, and the touch had grown slower and more intent as the night went on, as if she were just waiting until her fingers could reach spots a little higher on his body.

Melissa chose to ignore that and went back to nursing her beer, watching the storm. Bela shrugged again and after a few beats of strained silence, she rolled back onto the couch. Sebastian took the opportunity to kiss Melissa, because he had an answer that had nothing to do with Isabela, who was far too correct about the amount of control it cost him to sit around and do nothing with her when he wanted to let the storm play out across her skin in the darkness. She kissed him back, her tongue cool with the beer and slippery in his mouth, eager for the affection and distraction he offered. She moved closer in his arms, putting a hand in his hair and drawing him in deeper. When she pressed her palm delicately but firmly into his chest and pulled away, he had to draw back the hand he'd slipped under her shirt without fully realizing when he'd done it. The beer was getting to him, and they should probably head to privacy. Her thoughts ran along the same lines and she stood up, stretching out a hand to him.

"Storm's over, Bela. I'm going to bed," Melissa said. Sebastian took her hand and was pulled to his feet. 

Isabela stretched like a cat on the couch and gave them a look as they stood there, hand in hand. She looked at Melissa, her head titled to the side and said, "I'm going to see if I can see the stars tonight. I'll wait a little longer until the clouds clear."

He knew they weren't talking about the weather when Melissa leaned down, picked up another beer and offered it to her friend. "Clear skies, so far as I can see. Night, Bela."

"You two go do something I would do," Bela called after them as a goodnight. Sebastian saw Melissa smile as she closed the door behind them and turned on the fan at the end of her neat bed. The whir of the fan matched the one in his head, as he drew in to resume kissing Melissa, picking up where they'd left off like they'd never stopped.


	21. U is for Unwanted

Honesty had to start somewhere. Melissa kept thinking over the way Sebastian had looked the night of the thunderstorm, and how lost he was when it came to her past. He knew her now, how she felt about him, but they'd deliberately put some distance between them after the drunken wedding incident. Nothing they did that night bothered her, except not remembering it wholly, but she it had obviously gone too far and felt too much like his past for Sebastian's comfort. Truth be told, she'd like to not be so drunk next time they did attempt to fool around.

She wanted to talk to him more, to bridge the unwitting gap they'd gotten comfortable straddling. Even as she slept in his bed with his arms around her, there were things she wanted to ask but bit her tongue back for fear of asking too much, too quickly and finding out details she didn't want to confront. Whatever had held them in place before, stagnant and afraid to delve deeper was disintegrating, and she needed to know more about this man that she'd come to care so much about, and wanted to share her life and past with him, so he could know her the way she wanted to know him.

It was good in some ways, the ease of their last few weeks built trust and comfort, but they never managed to talk about anything that might come too close to home, that might need more than a little comfort. They were just comfortable enough, and it felt stifling in some ways. There were definite conversations they were avoiding, to be sure. She wanted to talk, not just about the future or school or what to drink tonight like they mostly wound up talking about whenever they had serious discussions, but about the past, the future, and what they could mean to each other. He should know about her past, or the way things had been before they left Ferelden at the very least.

Those things were easier to say in the dark, and she waited until the next time she was sleeping over with Sebastian to bring it up. She sat watching him in the semi-darkness of his bedroom, while he sat in bed next to her with his laptop in front of him. She'd been painting her toenails before, the lone floor lamp the only source of light besides the laptop.

"You were confused before, when Isabela and I were, um, having our discussion," she started, and Sebastian looked up at her. His hair, normally pushed back from his face had recently been cut shorter than he liked and fell messily forward, into his eyes. He watched her, and didn't bother to speak an answer.

"I should tell you about Ferelden. At least a little." She sighed, unsure how what to say next now that she'd started the conversation. "You know that Father died when I was seventeen, but he was sick for years before that. I'm good with numbers and I kept his books, so that's how the bookkeeping thing started. People who knew us, knew him, asked me for my help. I made decent money, but I was paid under the table, and I wound up working while I finished school. When it came time to go to college, I couldn't manage it. I tried, at first, but it was just after he died and Carver and Bethany were only twelve, so I took a class, but I gave it up."

"You gave up your education to work?" he asked, his voice soft, and she nodded. That was the face of it, but she really gave it up so she could live, so her family could go on when the well meaning gifts of food and funds ran out and no one saw the starving Hawke family with anything but contempt. It hadn't been a real choice.

There was so much else that happened at the same time, things like Leandra being denied care for her depression and having to appeal the ruling so they could get food assistance. Learning to drive in a hurry, so she could get everyone to where they needed to be, paying for the Chantry funeral only to have them turn around and give her money right back because a fund was set aside for people like them. She hadn't even had it in her to be embarrassed by the charity, as her mother had been later, all Melissa had felt at the time was relief that she got to keep the four thousand crowns she'd taken out a loan to get. She told Sebastian about it in a halting, quavering voice as she added memory upon recollection, and then threw in how she lost of her virginity around then too, because she found someone that just liked being with her and didn't need her, that just liking her felt novel and wonderful and so like love she hadn't known it wasn't until it was over.

He was mostly silent through her story, offering some comfort or a question or two, but Sebastian let her talk herself out. When she had mostly drifted into random stories about how she came to Kirkwall, he spoke up.

"Were you ever afraid?" he asked, his voice quiet and grave.

"All the time. I thought we were one step from losing our house, from starvation, from watching Bethany and Carver get taken away from me because I was still a kid and Mother was so unwell. If we hadn't gotten the insurance settlement for the house, I don't think we would have made it into Kirkwall. We'd run out of time, and I was out of ideas."

Sebastian reached over and kissed her hand, bringing it to his mouth. "It's going to seem trite to tell you how strong you were, but it's amazing. You are amazing."

His words made her smile flash bright even in the dim light. She let him ease her back into the bed, and Melissa fell into a dreamless sleep for once.

#

He was so fucking hard. Melissa was squirming against him, trying to get back to sleep. She did this, got up in the morning and was up for a half hour or so before getting back into bed, like she needed to ease herself back into sleep after getting up to use the bathroom. Sebastian normally didn't wake up, but sleep hadn't come easy for him after last night, and all the things that Melissa had told him.

She wanted a confessional last night, but fell asleep before he said anything. Maybe she just needed to talk, but he got the feeling she'd wanted to have a conversation. He had to get up, to untangle himself from her if they were going to have a conversation. When Melissa felt him shift, she rolled over to give him a sweet smile. He returned it, knowing that his was likely nowhere near as nice as hers, and headed wordlessly into the bath. He wanted to jerk off, but that would take too long and his erection would go away on its own, he hoped.

When he came back out, Melissa was still in bed, black hair released from its usual ponytail and fanning over his pillows. He got back into a bed still warm from his own body heat and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

"You said a lot last night," he began, and she tensed in his arms, but Sebastian brushed his lips over the shell of her ear and lowered his voice to a whisper, "you're far better than I deserve."

"That's not true," Melissa said, but he just laughed softly in her ear.

"Lissa, I'm selfish, rich, careless and desperately spoiled, and those are the main things that got me banished from Starkhaven. I'm still all of those things in theory, but I wouldn't change that because they got me into bed with you."

"You forgot romantic," she said so drily he couldn't help but laugh again.

"I'm that too, unexpected but undoubtedly. What did you want to talk about last night before you fell asleep?"

She rolled out of his arms and away from the erection that never intended to die down. Her face was a curious mix of expressions, as if she was trying to pin down just one and couldn't quite manage the control. "You have a lot of rules and things you can't do, and I don't ask why or push you on it. I won't. But I thought you'd eventually come to trust me with the why so I wouldn't have to ask."

"Ah." He paused before he went on, uncertain as to which rules she was talking about. The exile, it had to be, but there wasn't one thing that got him exiled, it was a series of escalating events over years. He wasn't sure where to start. "Well, there's a lot of dirt. Are you sure you want to go digging?"

She propped herself up on one hand, looking him in the eye. "I can keep a secret if that's what you're wondering."

"You know I can't go back to Starkhaven, at least, not yet. You know the basics of why. I was a wild boy, even more than was expected because I knew too much and had too little oversight. When I was sent away there were conditions."

He put a weary hand over his eyes and thought back to a time he'd rather like to forget. Bits and pieces of memory flowed into him, things he had done and wished he hadn't, and things he hadn't done and hadn't been mature enough to manage. A deep breath caught in his chest, and he had to focus to expel it. "I'm not keeping secrets because I enjoy keeping you in the dark. I'm still trying to find my way out of it."

"I know, sweetheart," she said, and changed position on the bed. She sat crossed legged closer to him, and reached her hand out to take his. Sebastian smiled down at them as she laced her fingers through his.

"Father mandated that I had come to Kirkwall, but I had nowhere to go here once I got here. Establishments that had once offered me credit based on my name weren't permitted to take me, friends and acquaintances didn't want to risk my father's wrath, so I went to the Chantry. Grand Cleric Elthina was about the only person that knew me and would let me stay." He sighed and went on, his voice growing ever more grave as he did.

"I also had to promise not to beget any rival heirs," he said, and when he saw her look of confusion he amended it to, "My parents didn't want me to have any unwanted children that might vie for the throne later on, and if I did manage to get someone pregnant, they would have insisted it be made legitimate or terminated."

"Oh."

There were so many more things he should tell her, but his story was just a collection of happenings and circumstance and things he'd done to himself until consequence took his hand and led him off a cliff. He settled on telling her about his home, what he missed, how his mother had come to see him every month when he first got exiled, and the boxes he still got from her. Starkhaven was always going to be home, no matter how long he was obliged to stay away from it. But the powers that be didn't want him there. He was Starkhaven's unwanted heir, just as any children he had would be.

"I wish you could meet my mom," he said softly.

"I'd love to, whenever you're ready," Melissa said, and squeezed his hand. It was the first time he'd really told anyone how much he missed seeing his mother, and though he was twenty-five years old, he ached with missing her.

He was done talking for the moment, and Melissa eyelids were drooping with fatigue. When he looked over at her and suggested they go back to bed again, it was met with a yawning enthusiasm.


	22. V is for Vacation

"Would you like to come to my fall formal?" Sebastian asked, looking up from his laptop at her. He was shirtless, sitting in his desk chair with that fall of too short hair flopping into his face again. Melissa titled her head to the side at him, unable to recall the question.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"My fall formal. It's just a weekend away after we take on our new pledges. We have a semi-formal dance and a bonfire. Not in that order, though that could be interesting. It's a retreat near Falern Lake," he explained.

She thought about it -- she'd never been to a formal before -- and the thought filled her with more apprehension than anything else.

"Fall formal?" she asked, sounding more confused than she was, but for some reason her mouth wasn't letting her articulate all the things running through her head. She had no idea what it meant, or why there would be a bonfire. Was she expected to pay for a room at the retreat? He'd never mentioned a formal before, and calling it a fall formal implied that there was another a one later in the school year.

"Yes. There used to be one in the spring as well, but we haven't done it in a few years." He shrugged. "It's just a weekend away, a little vacation. You don't even have to dance with me if you don't want."

"No, I'd love to. I've never been to a dance before," she said slowly, and Sebastian gave her a hard look.

"Not at all?" he asked, shocked. She shook her head at him, and then shrugged. It meant little to her. 

In Ferelden, there had been school dances and barn dances for the community, but she'd never gone to either. Mother had insisted she learn to dance, so technically, she might be able to waltz still. Mother would be thrilled, if she had time to make a dress. Melissa took out her phone and texted mother about the dress, to which she got an immediate reply telling her to find one for 'inspiration', which was Mother-speak for a dress design to copy. She sent another text to Isabela, telling her to find a dress for her mother to make for the fall formal. Isabela didn't answer right away, but she had no doubt that later on her phone would be flooded with images.

When she looked up from her phone, Sebastian was standing over her, offering his hand. She took it, bemused, and let him pull her to standing. He put an arm around her waist and drew her in.

"Do you know how to dance?" he asked, his voice soft. She could feel his breath on her neck, and it tickled down her spine. His touch, always so electrifying, had grown even more so in the past few weeks.

"I can waltz," she told him, and when he took the first step, she followed automatically.

The moved slowly, letting the motion come back to her as Sebastian led. He was good, quick on his feet and good at leading without dragging or pushing her about. They didn't speak at first, until Melissa realized she was counting her steps under her breath and made herself stop, to look up into his face was she danced.

"Better," he said, giving her a smile. She nearly missed a step then, but he kept going and she found her footing. "You know your brother spoke to me again, before he left. He said 'You'd better make her laugh, Vael.'"

"Why would he say that?" she asked, more musing to herself than to Sebastian, but he answered anyway.

"Because you don't do it enough, and likely never have. And I should make you laugh, or at least smile when I can't manage that."

Melissa hid her grin as she looked up at him and asked, "So which are you working on now?"

A slight hesitation made his eyes shift to the side, as if he were looking for the answer there, just beyond where she could see. "Dancing," he said stoically, as she trod on his foot. Melissa's smile turned into a soft snort of laughter.


	23. W is for Work

It was the end of her internship, and as they did with every group of interns, they went out to drink. Sebastian was actually ending next week, but he came to meet Melissa and her co-workers at the bar. There weren't a big group from her area of work, but the sales force had a lot of interns that came out with them, and the bar was lively. There were just enough people there that Sebastian had to push his way through to her side.

He greeted her with a kiss, and handed her a tall glass filled with a deep, rich nut brown beer. She smiled up at him and introduced him around, noting some faces that registered surprise or recognition rather than the vague friendliness of meeting someone for the first time. There would be time to ask later, but pre-exile Sebastian hadn't spent nearly as much time in dull Kirkwall as he had in Starkhaven and Antiva City. 

They got separated at some point, but she could see him in conversation in the corner, and watched as he made a whole group of people laugh all at once. His magnetism and charm wasn't something she'd really considered when she started dating him, but she hadn't been immune to it herself. It was oddly satisfying to see him make a group of people smile and know that his real wry jokes and deep, quiet chuckles he saved for her.

She made her way around the room as her beer ran out, and as she was heading back to get another one, got cornered by Julie. Of all the people she'd worked with over the summer, it was Julie that was the most upset about her leaving. "Can't you just graduate some other time?" she'd asked that afternoon, hugging her tightly at the meeting where they thanked the interns for their service. Melissa had laughed, but it was such an amazing feeling to know that not only had she impressed, she'd become part of the team in her short ten weeks of working there.

Julie was drunk, and looking a little worse for wear as she started to talk to Melissa. Sebastian tapped her on the shoulder, while they were talking, apologized for interrupting, and asked Melissa if she needed another drink. When he left, Julie was giving her a strange look, an eyebrow raised as a question that probably wouldn't have been asked so directly had she not been drinking tumbled out. "Your boyfriend is the youngest Starkhaven Prince?"

"Um, yeah. Or I guess that might be one of his nephews. I'm not sure. I never think about it like that though," she said.

"But he's the slutty one right?" Julie asked, and this time Melissa had to laugh.

"Yeah, he used to be."

"Good for you," Julie said. She spared one more glance at the bar where Sebastian was leaning and then looked back at Melissa. "Come to dinner sometime during the year and meet my wife. She's an elf. Don't be weird about it like the rest of the people in Hightown. Bring the pretty boy."

Melissa laughed again, but agreed to come for a visit. She was just going to go join Sebastian, happy to turn away from Julie's enthusiastic overindulging when someone else called her name.

"Hawke!"

Melissa turned slowly, unsure if she was going to face the person she thought owned that commanding voice. It was her. Melissa looked up into the startlingly green eyes of Aveline Vallen and gave her a genuinely surprised smile.

"Maker's breath, Aveline. I haven't seen you in an age. How's the guard life going?"

"It's fine, Hawke. Better than fine really, but busy. Is this your group?" Aveline asked, looking around at the accountants, actuaries and sales drones in various stages of inebriation. Melissa nodded.

"It's the last time they'll be my group. We're celebrating the end of the internships this year."

"You're graduating?" Aveline asked, and Melissa nodded. "Good for you! How's Leandra doing?"

"Mother's fine. Bethany's in school and Carver," she started to rattle off everything, but Aveline cut in.

"I know. Your uncle talks up a storm about you in his cell, which is why I think I've been so lax about answering your emails lately. Sorry about that, but I feel like I've got a line into your life from him."

"Conversations are supposed to be two way, Aveline," she said, but then waved it off. "I'm just glad to run into you, and oh," Sebastian came back to her side, handing her the beer as he and Aveline gave each other openly curious looks, "this is my boyfriend Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Aveline Vallen, my oldest friend in Kirkwall."

Aveline was her oldest friend in Kirkwall, but that meant little in the whole scheme of things. She'd met her in Ferelden, where Aveline had just been discharged from the army, her husband was dead and she had no prospects in the broke and failing Ferelden. She was headed to Kirkwall, which was the last place she'd planned to go with her husband before his untimely death, and wound up on the same boat over at the Hawke family. They'd struck up a friendship keeping Carver from hurling his guts into the sea during the crossing and helping Bethany get her money back after being cheated at cards. 

"It's nice to meet you, guardswoman," Sebastian said, and she saw Aveline give him another, more scrutinizing look.

"And you, Sebastian. You're from Starkhaven?" she asked, and Sebastian affirmed that he was. 

The three of them made polite chit-chat for another minute before Aveline made her goodbyes. Aveline had come with her own group that included a man with some hipster mutton chops that was giving her friend the eye something serious, left to go back to her coworkers. With an unconvincing promise to answer her texts more if she wasn't stuck on the night shift, Aveline gave Sebastian a last look as if she were trying to memorize his face and then went back to her table. Melissa leaned up against an empty patch of wall, smiling at Sebastian over her drink.

"How'd you know she was one of the Viscount's own?" she asked.

"She stands like it," Sebastian answered, sipping at his own drink. "And her friends all looked like guards; they're wearing the boots too. You've never mentioned her before."

"We don't talk too much anymore. She and Isabela get along only sometimes, and she's shit at answering texts. I try to remember to email her, but honestly I've been too busy with work and all of that. Plus, she had to distance herself from us when I worked for Athenril. It was a problem for her," Melissa explained.

"Ah. So, since the guardswoman is going to check on you all night, shall I assume that you want to leave early and not drink too much?" he asked.

"I shouldn't, and you have to work tomorrow. It's only Thursday," she pointed out, to which Sebastian groaned.

"I know, it's unfair that you're done, and I still have another few days of work," he was whining now, and Melissa wasn't feeling at all charitable. She stuck her tongue out at him and the laughed at the farcical sad face he made in response. She set her glass down, this one gone much more quickly than the one before, and went to say goodbye to her fellow interns so she could go home and sleep in late tomorrow.


	24. X is for X-intercept

At the beginning of the summer when Bethany had gotten her new job and started school for it, she'd taken placement tests and scored high in all of them except for the one in mathematics. It was one of the truest ironies that Melissa knew that she could be so good with numbers while both Bethany and Carver weren't. 

"That's definitely your father's side, because I never knew of an Amell mathematician," her mother had mentioned once, and since there were no other Hawkes to dispute or affirm the claim in any way, Melissa had supposed that it was possible it could be true, or that she could be an outlier. She preferred to think she was an outlier, because then she might actually be special, and not just the latest in a long line of stars that had already burned out.

"What's this?" Bethany asked as they sat at the table in Melissa's apartment. 

She'd come there because Mother had the table at their place absolutely covered in fabric for Melissa's dress and a 'surprise' she was making for her, and there was no place for Bethany and Melissa to sit down. Isabela had texted earlier that she was going to be out, so the apartment was quiet as they made their attempt.

"That's slope-intercept form," Melissa said, looking at the formula where Bethany was pointing.

"I can read that, Lissy, it says the name on the page. I meant, why do I have to waste my time on it?"

"Oh, because you've already learned the formula for point-slope and the problem wants you to use that to get the to the form y=mx+b," Melissa said.

"How?" Bethany asked, and Melissa did an example, showing her to go from one to the other. Then she solved it for y, just to see what the answer was for herself.

Bethany rolled her eyes at that, but said nothing. She just practiced the problems and let Melissa check them over. They worked in silence until Bethany ran into a wall, and Melissa went back and patiently explained the steps she'd missed or how the answer was wrong. Bethany was grumbling by the end, but she wasn't completely in the dark anymore.

"What do you think will happen with the Amell house?" Bethany asked as she closed her notebook, her questions for the chapter done. It was just review, she had to retake the test soon, and was brushing up.

"I think it's going to be found structurally unsound because of the walls that were removed and she's still going to want it," Melissa answered succinctly. "I'll help, of course, but it just depends on how much damage there is."

"There's still a bunch of Amell stuff in there," Bethany pointed out, and Melissa shrugged.

"We can either get it out ourselves or get someone to remove it and go through it later. I don't know when all this is going to happen so I have no idea how busy I will be. Hopefully not before spring semester when I have more time."

"This is what Mother wants, you know. Not just the house, but her and father talked all the time about sending you to college, about what they could do for me and Carver. She's so proud that you're graduating. So am I, for what it's worth."

"Thanks, B. I am glad you're in school too. It seems right that you finally are able to get a decent job."

"I know! It has been good so far, and I like working with Anders. I'm so excited for the future!" Bethany said, her voice holding the sounds of bright optimism that Kirkwall had almost completely extinguished from her.

"It's been a long time coming, hasn't it?" Melissa mused, but her sister didn't answer. Instead she turned and asked another question.

"Do you think there's any money left in the house? Any of the old jewelry? There could be anything in there, that place was such a mess."

"Not for people that can't determine the x-intercept of a straight line correctly," Melissa said, and laughed as she dodged when Bethany made to poke her in the ribs with her elbow.


	25. Y is for Youth

" _Hey can u come by? Hawke is fine, just wanna talk. Bela_ "

Sebastian frowned at the text, not because it was from Isabela, but because she had been a little removed from Melissa lately. It wasn't the thing with Carver, at least he didn't think it was, but Melissa had mentioned her roommate was acting strangely lately. Withdrawn, and not going to the shore as much as she normally did. Thinking of Isabela stuck in her room not trying to at least go see the water was unfathomable.

That evening was the night that Melissa had dinner with her family, and Sebastian had no plans otherwise. He drove to their apartment, his mind half on what he was going to eat after he talked to Isabela about whatever it was she needed to talk about. He wasn't close with Bela, but he would say they were friends now, even without Melissa around. He knew that her loyalty remained with Melissa, that if they ever broke up Isabela would cease to be his friend, but that was expected. With a jolt, Sebastian realized as he pulled into his usual parking space behind their building, that he never wanted to lose Melissa.

Bela was waiting for him, and let him in. Her short, white dress looked more like an overgrown t-shirt than a real sundress, but she looked as she always did, like she was moments away from dashing to the beach and running into the surf. She made a cursory offer of a drink, she didn't know what they had on hand besides her own liquor of dubious age and provenance, which he declined.

"What's up, Bela?" he asked, growing wary. She was uncomfortable, and with as many times as they'd hung out in a group, he'd never seen her so agitated before.

"So you're Chantry people, and I need to know about the Chantry."

"What do you want to know about?" he asked, skipping over the 'you're Chantry people' part.

"They do good works, right? Hawke never goes but she says they do, and that you lived there for a while. So you've done like charity work with them before."

"I have, and I did live there when I first got to Kirkwall. We cared for many people in the area, providing meals and emergency funds and medicine. I was a lay brother, but I decided not to go into the Chantry after some thought." It had been a long process, trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He had military training, Starkhaven had a mandatory service, and he had been in it since he was sixteen. Then he'd gone to school, and though he had decent grades, he'd never declared a major. At the Chantry, he had time to think, to figure things out and research which jobs in what fields might actual make him fulfilled for once in his life.

"You lack purpose." Grand Cleric Elthina had told him, standing over him and offering a hand up so he could rise and take a break from scrubbing the floor. "It is not uncommon in young people, and not the end of the world."

"I'm not sure what to do about it, Your Grace."

"No one is in your position, but you have time on your hands to decide on a new path, and wits enough to make sure it is a good one."

It had taken Sebastian a long time to figure out what gave his life meaning, even after he'd come to Tech. Truth was, he was still learning, but his school work was interesting and after his summer job with the Viscounty, he was glad he'd chosen civil engineering as his field. He could do the kind of good that people needed and never thought about. Sebastian turned back to Isabela, breaking away from his own thoughts to catch her as she got to her point.

"So I need to know how to do make a donation, and have it actually help people. I was thinking I could do something good with this. At least a little," Isabela was saying.

"How so?" he asked.

She got up from the couch and went into her room. When she came back, she handed him a letter. As Sebastian read it in silence, she twisted her hands, wringing them endlessly as she worried her lip. When he looked up at her, Sebastian was even more confused.

"You're a widow?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"He was my ex-husband, and don't worry, Hawke knows all about Luis. Well, I haven't told her he's dead. I needed time to process it. I just didn't expect him to die and still have me listed as his primary beneficiary. No pity, please. I didn't love him when I married him, and I'm sure as hell not mourning him now."

"Why'd you get married?"

"I usually say it was a youthful mistake, but it wasn't my mistake. My mother was a greedy hog that sold me when I was eighteen so she could get a settlement from a rich Antivan pervert that had seen me out dancing with my friends. Legally, I could get married, and Luis was fun, at first. He took me away from her, from Rivain, and the poverty I grew up in. He wooed me for weeks, giving me jewelry and cars and clothes and setting me up in his house so he could seduce me so thoroughly I thought I was the luckiest girl to ever exist. When we got married, I wanted to marry him. Once we were married, I was his trophy, a plaything, and you know what happens when you get bored with a toy -- you don't mind letting others play with it," she finished, looking him straight in the eye.

He met her gaze and didn't look away until she did, letting out his breath in a giant whoosh from his lungs.

"Don't say you're sorry," Isabela said when she turned back to him.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said, and then realized that he needed to give her something to restore the balance between them. Sebastian blew out a hard breath before he could say it. "Speaking of youthful mistakes, there was some concern that I'd leave a trail of them in my wake so my parents have offered me a lift of my exile and half a million crowns if I will get a vasectomy. They offer it every year that I'm gone."

She made a loud, angry growl from the back of her throat, and her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Parents are the fucking worst," she declared, and at that moment, Sebastian had to agree with her.

"I haven't even told Melissa that yet," he admitted, but went on quickly, "I can help you do some good with your money," Sebastian told her, "and I can help you grow it. I know Melissa would tell you to keep some for yourself, and you should. My family is full of bankers."

"Can you make it into more money?" she asked, and Sebastian laughed.

"Do I look like I need a job?" he asked in return, letting a wicked smirk spool onto his face, but then he sobered, so she would know he was taking her seriously. "My family is worth more than three-quarters of a billion crowns. If they can't grow your investment, I'll pay it all back, personally."

"I thought you were cut off," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Some sanctions have been lifted recently, because I turned twenty-five."

"You got your trust fund," Isabela surmised, and Sebastian nodded.

"I did indeed. But donating is always a good idea, tax-wise, and the Chantry does do good work and would welcome a large gift. You'd be very welcome in certain circles, like with the Viscount. I hear he has a hell of a yacht."

Isabela almost grinned as she got up from the couch to go to the kitchen. "I need a drink," she said over her shoulder, then called from the kitchen, "hey, there's a beer left in here, do you want it while you wait for Hawke to get home?"

"Yeah, thanks. You can tell the Chantry how to spend your large donation. Is there anything in particular you'd like them to do with it?" he asked, calling into the kitchen as Isabela made herself a drink.


	26. Z is for Zephyr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A zephyr is a light breeze, which is why the wind is mentioned so often in this chapter. I couldn't quite work in the word zephyr though.
> 
> This chapter references the events in I is for Invitation, which I've put on dub-con warning on. They are drunk in the chapter and that impairment is enough to make any sort of agreement, even the most enthusiastic, dubious.

Autumn was touching the trees, even if the humidity and heat hadn't completely broken yet around Kirkwall. At least the breeze was cool that day, as she and Sebastian finished up their workout. The parks department had offered a yoga class in Heritage Park that morning, and she and Sebastian got up early to check it out.

She thought Sebastian would be better at yoga than he was. They didn't often workout together, because they favored such different exercises, it was usually she and Isabela that did yoga together. While Melissa had started it to help calm her mind, Isabela helpfully pointed out the benefits of staying nimble and flexible. This session had proved too early for Bela, and Sebastian had forgone his morning run to come with her.

Despite his natural grace, it had been hard for him to keep up. It wasn't power yoga, but she heard him muttering under his breath and the occasional 'nope' from him as he found he couldn't do a pose. Now that it was over, he was sweating and grimacing at her.

"I hate yoga," he said, watching as she rolled up the borrowed mat she'd used. His was already rolled up, because he'd quit in the middle of the last exercise. Melissa gave a giggle-snort.

"I especially hate doing yoga when it's this humid out," he complained again, and this time, she heard the light touch of laughter in his own voice.

"Your Highness, I'm sorry I suggested it. Please take my humblest apologies," she said, sketching him a mock bow as she dumped their mats into the collection container. The light breeze ruffled at her hair, drawing tendrils of it loose from the two messy buns at the back of her head. Sebastian smoothed away an errant hair from her face, but didn't otherwise answer her.

Drawing her away from the departing crowd, they walked back through the park towards campus on a meandering, quieter route. "The best part about it was seeing how very flexible you are," Sebastian said, in a voice too low to be anything but suggestive. 

"Saw something you like?" she asked, flirting back at him.

"That pose, the one where you lay back with the soles of your feet together and your arms out --"

"-- Reclined goddess," she supplied.

"Yeah, that one made me want to kiss you," he admitted, and she stopped. She pulled him towards a big tree, one with large, visible roots a lot of shade. Resting her back against it, she let Sebastian lean over her, his forearm on the trunk over her head. He looked down at her, blue eyes sparkling as he waited for her.

"I'm right here," Melissa told him.

His laugh was so strained that it earned him a quizzical look, and he finally leaned down to her and whispered, "I only wanted to start at your lips and draw a line down to where your feet met. I can't possibly do that here, can I? They'd arrest me, you and anyone who saw us."

"You've got bail money," she whispered back, and he pulled back from her side to laugh loudly. The sound mingled with the breeze to shake the leaves on the tree around them, and she bit back her own mirth as she watched him. Sebastian was happier these days, and more beautiful for it. His skin and hair glowed golden from the sun he'd caught over the summer, and despite the morning exercise that he hadn't enjoyed, he looked bright and ready for the day, whatever it might bring.

"Do you remember anything of that night in the hotel, after the wedding?" he asked, suddenly serious.

She shook her head. "Not really. After the elevator, everything gets fuzzy, though I do remember cheering on your striptease. Then we drank some more, and I've only got scattered recollections."

"I went down on you, or at least I tried to. The tv was on, you were kissing me and then you were mostly naked, and laying in my bed. I don't remember much more, because I was more than a little out of it myself, but you poured the remains of a bottle of water on my head."

"I did what?" Melissa gasped, totally too loud. Heads swiveled towards them from people on nearby benches, but she paid them no mind.

"It was probably fair commentary on how well I was doing that night, in all honesty. But it was taking a while, and we were doing that because I couldn't, um, stay ready for anything else."

Mortified, Melissa tried to turn away from Sebastian so he wouldn't see her face flush in embarrassment, but he was still leaning over her. "I'm only reminding you of this horrible lapse in skill and judgement because I'm going to need a chance to re-prove my prowess when we both aren't drinking."

"You think you have prowess? Still?" she teased, her face still flushed.

Oh, but that had hit just the right button, because Sebastian did swoop in then and kiss her, hard enough for her head to press back into the uneven bark of the tree, and well enough that she didn't care about the feeling of it pressing against her scalp. Her hand clasped the back of his neck, still sun warm under her hand and kissed him back. She forgot her embarrassment, letting it slide away as she tasted the sweetness on his tongue, felt it probe and tease her own until her whole body started to respond. When they broke apart the breeze blew through again, so cool against her raw lips she swore she could taste the oncoming fall.

It was their last year of school coming up, and she was ready for it. It was the first time in her adult life that she didn't feel scared of the future, and what it might hold. What it had was Sebastian, his kisses and sinful promises, his sweetness and earnest prayers. It had her family, as small and scattered as they were, finally safe physically and financially for the first time in years. It had graduation, money in the bank from her internship, and a job that she'd already earned and a security she'd never known before in her life. Autumn was already starting, today in this park, where she stood kissing a man she'd been falling in love with all summer, and who was nearly ready to take a step he'd been afraid to take with her.

She reached up and kissed him again, but let it wind down into something sweeter than their last kiss had been. When they broke apart, she took his hand and nodded towards campus. "Let's get breakfast. Can't do dirty talk on an empty stomach," she said.

What she wanted to say was, "I love you. Let's do this forever," but she wasn't certain it was the right time to tell him yet, especially not the forever part. Forever thrilled and scared her to even think, but it felt right, like it was another piece of the puzzle of her life finally fitting into place. It had only been a few months for them, but she was sure summer break was long enough to fall in love.

Melissa let Sebastian guide her out from under the shade of the tree and turned then her head towards the sky and closed her eyes. The warmth was just tempered by the breeze, and the sky a clear, cerulean blue overhead. Soon. Her words would come soon, when they were ready and welcomed by Sebastian, who was waiting patiently by her side. She opened her eyes, smiled at him, and led him on towards pancakes.


End file.
